Tiny Little Problems
by P.A.W.07
Summary: It was only a matter of time until Zim was dragged back to Foodcourtia. Now he has a little problem that he'd rather flush down a stool then deal with, except its made him very popular. So Zim finds himself needing help with his little problem and Dib is glad for the distraction. He wont be his father's pawn. Mpreg. Bro-mance/friendship.
1. Chapter 1

Tiny Little Problems Summary: It was only a matter of time till Zim was dragged back to Foodcourtia and now he has a little problem that he'd rather flush down the stool then deal with except now it has made him very popular. Now Zim finds himself needing help with his little problem … to bad the help had to be Dib. Dib and Zim friendship thing.

Disclaimer: NO I don't own Zim… but I really, really want to own him … or a robot death monkey. Oh how I'd love to have a robot death monkey.

**Note:** Begining of chapter one has been edited to keep it in the teen section so it doesn't get deleted though there will still be mentions of Im-preg. What? Wasn't that obvious in the summary? (grin cause I think I'm clever … but not really.) Nothing to drastic though so people don't freak out. Enjoy the angst.

Chapter 1: A Painful Surprise

XXX

Gashloog glared at the bucket before him and the disgusting liquid like substance inside it. Why was he mopping? This was Zim's job! Zims! Shaloo sudden stepped into the back room of the restaurant and threw his hat to the floor growling.

"Ugh! Filthy, filthy, filthy! I hate that Eric guy. He takes forever! Forever! We closed thirty minutes later than usual because HE WOULDN"T LEAVE!" Shaloo growled for a moment more, and then dropped his angrily twitching antennae as he looked at his fellow Irken whom seemed to be glaring at the bucket expecting to blow it up with his eyes or something doomy like that. "What's up Gashloog?"

"What's up … I'll tell you what up! THIS IS ZIM'S JOB!" Gashloog hissed as he dropped the mop. "I don't care if he is a little taller now. He's still a food-service-drone like the rest of us and should be doing his work. Sizz-Lorr should punish him for being so … so … not helpful in a helping way!"

Shaloo pulled his antennae back in thought. He hadn't seen Zim all day since Sizz-Lorr had dragged him back into the backroom to load thingies. Sizz-Lorr had been doing that to Zim a lot actually, now that he thought of it. Zim always seemed so petrified during those times. In fact, the ex-invader seems scared all the time, completely losing that egotistical nature of his that he had had five years ago … not counting the whole foodening-time-warp-thing.

A scream suddenly echoed from the living quarters and both of the Irkens jumped as they looked down the hall that led to Zim's sleeping area.

"I think Sizz-Lorr is punishing him right now … poor guy."

"Irk … I'm so glad I'm not a little , or I'd be in Zim's boots. Defective monster."

…

The springs in the bed whined as he pulled himself out of the other, Zim's screams slowly turning into whimpers as the smaller being pulled himself into a ball of shivering pain. Sizz-Lorr's shadow loomed over the other Irken for a moment with a sickening smile on his face. The huge Irken watched Zim shiver for a few more moments trying to decide if he should do it again or spare the Irken's lungs for another day … it was no fun if the ex-invader didn't scream, especially when Sizz-Lorr came. It was just no fun then, and the only purpose in doing this was for the fun anyway. It wasn't as if either one of them could procreate. The fry cook sighed and decided he'd leave Zim be, but not before he violated the Irken one more time.

The huge form suddenly grabbed the smaller Irken, whom cried out like a dying pig and tried to pull away, but Sizz-Lorr managed to lock lips with the other despite his struggling. A groan escaped the fry cook as he forced his tongue deep down the other's throat. Zim gurgled against the kiss, but become silent when he felt two clawed fingers slide between his legs.

Zim closed his eyes and bid it over.

Sizz-Lorr pulled away from the kiss and removed his hand, feeling content as he stated, "That's a good Irken … I hope you enjoyed out night of _fun_ together."

He then dropped the irken on the cot and started to return his uniform to his flesh.

"And quit whimpering like a haglermiph from the planet Snort and clean yourself up as well as this … mess. I don't care if it takes the entire night cycle to clean. I expect you to be up and ready for work. The other workers are complaining that you aren't pulling your load," hissed the huge Irken as he slipped on his hat and walked toward the door. A small sigh escaped Zim as the larger Irken neared the door. Sizz-Lorr heard it and tried to resist the need to beat the other for that small action.

"Oh and Zim," mocked the huge form as the door whizzed open, "thanks for a wonderful time tonight. Sorry, it couldn't have been longer, but I have paperwork." Zim merely glared at him from the shadows. "But don't worry … next time I promise it will be twice as long and twice as hard to make up for tonight." And with that the Irken left, the doors whizzing close behind him.

Zim seemed to lie there forever making sure that his violater wasn't going to come back … yes, violater. He would not use that filthy human word … rape … he was not human. He was violated over and over again, but never raped. Rape was a word souly based for humans. How he'd love to be on that horrible dirt ball right now then here. Zim slowly pulled his body up feeling a tremor run though him, and then he made a step for the ground. His legs quickly collapsed underneath him, and he went smashing to the floor with a dull clunking noise. The invader's body was throbbing with pain as if his insides were on fire. Zim was rather sure Sizz-Lorr had ripped him up inside a little bit due to shear size difference. Yah, Irkens were built tuff, but a body could only take so much damage before it would give out on you.

Despite the fact that he was shaking and bleeding slightly, Zim managed to pull himself to his feet and rip the covers off his bed, throwing them down the laundry chute. He then quickly covering the cot with new sheets … the invader felt dirty. So he stumbled to the cleaning quarters and popped into a device that was equivalent to a human shower minus the water. Zim tugged at the collar around his neck before pushing the button to start the machine. In truth, Zim would not have minded water … it would be nice to melt off the skin that that beast had touched, but instead he'd just stay in here all night. Maybe if he'd stay in here long enough he'd drown in the pink liquid that was cascading down on him.

XXX

Gashloog found himself tromping down the living areas looking for Zim. Sizz-Lorr was out leaving him in charge for the rest of the day, and Zim was already an hour late for work! The smaller Irken slammed into the invader's sleeping quarters … no one. In fact, the bed didn't even look slept in.

A small whimpering drew the Irken away from the quarters and towards the cleansing area. He was shocked when he opened the door to be met by a wave of pink cleansing liquid. Someone left the cleaning gel on all night! He was about to curse Zim for letting the cleaner run, but the scene silenced his tongue. Zim was pulled as tightly as he could into the cleansing machine's corner completely naked with his knees pulled into his chest. His eyes were glazed, and he was knee deep in the liquid. Gashloog stared for a moment more. He knew what had happened, what had been happening to Zim since Sizz-Lorr had brought him back. The Irken walked over to the cleansing machine and pushed the button, turning it off.

"Come on, Zim … Sizz-Lorr will be back any moment. Lets get you dressed and to a register. It's really busy today." Gashloog pulled at the other invader, but Zim pushed away.

"I can dress myself."

XXX

Zim pulled his antennae back underneath his hat as an annoying pink blob changed his order for the sixth time. He wouldn't scream or screech and attack people with a mop like he usually did when frustrated … that might attracted the unwanted attention of Sizz-Lorr. He had had more then enough of that for the past three months. The Irken flinched slightly as he shifted his legs. He was so sore down there, plus he had been feeling sick for the past few days. Everything in the restaurant smelled disgusting, even the customers made him want to upchuck. Luckily, he hadn't eaten anything in a day or two or he'd be doing that right now with the smells that were wayfaring from the kitchen.

"Hey little guy … you aren't so little anymore are you?"

It was Eric. Zim gave him a wavering smile. Eric wasn't as stupid as he looked. He was just a really … slow … talker. The blob's usually smile faded. Zim knew why. He was pale enough to compare to Dib and he was shivering. He couldn't stop shivering. He had been shivering all day as well as all last night when Sizz-Lorr had finished. That defective bastard. Zim was sure that sooner or later he'd get bored of violating him, but no, he didn't. And that's why Sizz-Lorr was here to start with despite his height. He was a defect because his body was heavy in hormones and apparently Zim's small increase in height has a turn on.

"You okay little guy? You don't look good?" slurred Eric forgetting all about his order.

"Yah … the usual order today, Eric?" Zim's voice was worn and tired, gaining him a look from his fellow cashier Knuke. The blob merely nodded and Knuke continued to stare as the blob walked off to wait in his usual booth for his usual flying tray.

"Zim?" Knuke stated softly as the last of the customers disappeared to wait for their trays. "You really don't look good. Why don't you let us take you to a med-drone? Sizz-Lorr probably would deactivate the collar around your neck for a day. I think he'd rather have you in a med-room then dead … I think."

Zim merely shook his head. They had been trying to get him to go for the past week, but the invader knew what they'd find. He wouldn't allow anyone to know how he had been degraded to a bitch. Yah, that was a human word, but Zim couldn't find a better word to fit his predicament.

"Why don't you take a break at least then? You haven't taken a break in the last three days, so you have time," added Knuke as he observed the other; Zim was getting worse. He was shaking up a fit now.

"No," added Zim dryly. He hadn't seen Sizz-Lorr in over an hour. So either he had sneaked outside through the back door or was in the break room … Zim wasn't in the mood for a confrontation.

"Oh come on. You look ill." Zim just shook his head and glared at the other from behind his goggles.

"Fine if you won't go of your own free will, I'm going to go tell Sizz-Lorr." Knuke threatened as he leapt over the register and headed for the front entrance, meaning that Sizz-Lorr was outside.

Zim's body froze up and the next thing he knew he had jumped over the register as well and was chasing after the smaller Irken despite the pain in his abdomen. He quickly caught up and grabbed Knuke by his showing antennae. The Irken whimpered as Zim dragged his feet off the floor and to his eye level. "You defy Zim? You want to end up as the next serving of Snort-dogs?" Knuke shook his head. "Then leave me BE!"

Zim threw the other down feeling all eyes on him. Generally, he loved attention, but he'd rather be invisible and disperse into oblivion right now. The invader was only half-way back across the room when the sickness that had been stabbing him in his squeedly-spooch all day grabbed him hard with a sickening dizziness, and before he even hit the floor he had passed out.

The restaurant was completely silent now … not even the kitchen was making a sound as Gashloog and Shaloo stared over the counters.

XXX

"How long has he been like this?"

Zim twitched as he recognized the voice. He didn't know if he should continue lying there on the cold flooring pretending to still be out cold or to run away as fast as he could. He really didn't get a choice though as he felt a large hand come down and run itself over his antennae feeling his body temp.

"He's overheating. Shaloo go turn the cooling units on in his sleeping area and hail a med-drone."

Zim was about to state no and get to his feet, but he felt so heavy that he didn't even have a chance to move as Sizz-Lorr picked him off the floor and carried him to his room.

…

It was freezing in the room to say the least. Why did Sizz-Lorr tell them to make it cooler? He was already freezing, shivering in fact. Zim pulled at his blanket again and tried to curl into a tighter ball. He was getting worse. It felt like someone had put a tiny sun into his belly and now it was slowly eating its way out. Another agonizing groan escaped Zim and he felt Shaloo lean over his bed again.

"Zim … where does it hurt? Is it coming from your pak or does it feel internal? Does it feel like you're dieing or just … not dieing and in pain?"

The invader would have rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the question, but he was in too much agony to really care. Yet, it was nice to know that if he were dieing he wouldn't be dieing alone. He didn't want to die alone… a human weakness he had obtained over time, but it was still a calming thought.

Shaloo's antennae twitched as he waited for an answer from the invader … yah, he had to be dieing. Suddenly, the doors swooshed open and a small form walked in. "Gashloog where is that med-drone? Zim isn't getting any better and I don't want it on my head if he dies."

"Sorry, I went through ten med-drones and as soon as I mentioned Zim's name they'd hang up. I finally had to settle with a Voritan med-drone, because all the Irken ones refused to come. He said he'd be here any minute."

Shaloo dropped his antennae and watched Zim give a violent shudder. "I don't think he has that long."

XXX

Zim felt numb as his body gave another violent jerk; the world seemed to blur away. He no longer felt much of anything, neither the cold nor the hot. Sounds had all but disappeared except the beating of his pak keeping his blood flowing. He had no idea if anyone was even in the room anymore. He didn't much care either. He wanted it to end now! Zim whimpered as he felt his form being pulled out of his comforting ball by invading hands. He didn't fight them though … if he was lucky they were here to put him out of his misery.

"How long has he been like this? Why didn't you call a med-drone earlier?" hissed an unknown voice. The fingers started parading around his body and looking for physical wounds. Zim hoped he wouldn't start striping off cloths though, because he'd rather die then be degraded like that.

"He's been sick a few days. He was walking and talking so we didn't think much of it, but he collapsed nearly an hour ago and stopped reacting to my voice a little before you got here. Is he going to die, 'cause I really don't want to live through Sizz-Lorr's vein," growled Shaloo, "I'd better go, serving horrible customers and all."

The Voritan watched the Irken leave and then waited a minute or two to make sure that he wasn't coming back. A smiled crawled over his lips. He couldn't believe his luck! He had been trying to find a pak to steal the schematics from and it wasn't like one could just ask an Irken, but here calls an Irken practically asking him to take them. To top it off this was Zim! A defect who was know universally wide for causing more misery to the Irken empire alone then any entire species, and defect's paks were quickly destroyed after death so no one could ever find out what made them defective to start with. A pak with a defective program was like a treasure trove, because that corrupt data could probably be used to corrupt other paks. Jinker couldn't help, but giggle as he rolled the Irken onto his belly and started to forcefully pull open the pak.

Jinker had been prodding and pulling at the pak for twenty minutes now and uploaded half the schematics, yet he still couldn't find the defect in the pak. The Irken wasn't looking too good either. His shivering had all but ceased and small wheezing gasps were escaping him but no true breaths. The Voritan sighed … maybe he should at least try to save the idiot as a thank you for all the hell he put the Irken empire through. The med-drone quickly pulled out a small med-robot, which resembled a palm-sized spider, and allowed it to crawl onto the Irken's skin. A needle quickly protruded into the flesh and the Voritan raised his brow in question as he read the results on a holographic screen that floated above the spider.

"That can't be right? Why is this hormone in the blood stream and why is his pak attacking itself … there seems to be no foreign material worth attacking beside the small amounts of hormones?" The Voritan scratched his head. "Yet his pak has always been defective so why would it suddenly just start attacking itself?" The Voritan looked at the results from the blood sample for a few more seconds and then turned his attention to the pak. He pulled a little cord out of the spider's back and plugged it into the pak. He watched the results for a moment and his brow quickly pulled down in confusion. "Okay … your pak seems to think you have an infection because it's stealing half your pak's energy… why am I talking to myself?"

The spider just shrugged at its master's comment and watched as the Voritan clicked the button on the side of his goggles. The confusion on his face quickly disappeared. "Dear Vort! It can't be. Now way!" He scratched his chin for a moment, "but there's one way to find out." The voritan pushed Zim back onto his back and lifted up his ugly shirt to reveal the brim of his black pants. He stuck his nails under that elastic and gave a pull, a frown formed on his face as he spread Zim's legs and took a look between them. "Well, that answers that question. I bet it was that Sizz-Lorr judging by the extent of the damage. Med-robot clean it up down there as well as you can. We don't want are little discovery getting an infection now do we?"

The spider crawled off down towards the spreaded legs and the Voritan returned his attention to the floating doctor's bag by his side. He pulled out what resembled a needle, which then automatically filled with a yellow liquid. "This will just be a pinch and then you'll feel all better." Zim didn't even wake nor flinch as the long item entered his belly. The Voritan then pulled out a cord from the wall and plugged in the pak. Zim automatically took a deep shuddering breath and some color returned to his cheeks.

"You almost done down there?" There were two beeps. "Is it really that bad?" Another beep. "Well, fix it up as best you can as quickly as possible. This Irken is bound to regain consciousness momentarily and I don't want him getting any clues on what we've discovered." The spider crawled out covered in a slight green goop. The Voritan twitched at this and placed the spider as best he could into the bag without touching it.

"Be seeing you soon." The Voritan smiled and left Zim, pulling up his pants quickly to make sure the invader didn't have any clues and rid himself of it before Jinker could get his hands on him again.

Jinker could barely calm his stride as he walked toward the front of the restaurant. Shaloo looked up from his customer and told the med-drone he'd be there in a minute. The Voritan tried not to twitch with impatience. It took a few minutes, but Shaloo finally ridded himself of his customers and walked over to the Voritan whom was trying not to smile and failing horribly.

"Either he's dead or alive with the way your smiling," stated Shaloo.

The Voritan was about to snap back with a witty comment when a shadow suddenly loomed over the two. Jinker's smiled disappeared as a growl came from behind him. His horns dropped as he looked up at Sizz-Lorr's angry expression. He found out about the pak diagnostic didn't he? Oh vort, he was going to die!

"What is a medical Voritan doing here! How stupid are you workers? You're supposed to get an Irken med-drone! Irken!" Everyone stopped eating as they stared at the fuming fry cook.

Shaloo twitched as Sizz-Lorr's eyes turned to him. "S-s-sorry my fry lord. It's just that Gashloog couldn't find anyone else who'd come look at Zim."

"Is that so." Sizz-Lorr's anger dropped … he shouldn't be surprised by that. "Well!" He turned his attention back it the med-drone. "Is he dead?"

"N-n-no … his pak was starving." whimpered the Voritan. There was no denying who the daddy was now. Mean bastard.

"His pak was starving? How can that be? I'm sure he recharged his pak shortly after coming here and a charge can last over a year," stated the tall Irken as he stared at the med-drone in question.

The Voritan shrugged, "Must not have."

"That still doesn't explain his raised temperature and violent shivering. It explains his collapse and faded color, but nothing else." The Voritan shrugged again. "Well, what needs to be done? Any medication he needs daily?"

"No … just keep his pak plugged in and if it starts attacking itself again reset the programs… oh and make sure he eats." added the Voritan nervously as his fingers twitched, "He needs to eat at least twice a day for the next two weeks." Jinker swallowed as Sizz-Lorr nodded his head. This Irken was smarter then he looked. Hopefully, he didn't figure out why exactly the pak was attacking itself or it could ruin his plans. "Well, got to be going. I'm sure we'll see each other soon." The Irken gave him a questioned look, but the Voritan was walking out the door with a huge smile on his face before the fry lord could even ask him what he meant by that. He'll be back before two weeks was over that much was for sure, and once out of ear shot the Voritan snickered, "I'm sure Larr Nar would love to know about this."

XXX

Paw07: Hello duckies I hope you enjoyed and liked it. If you're looking for Dib: he won't show up for a bit and yes, I made up some of the restaurant workers because Gashloog was the only real named character. So drop me a review if you want me to continue or have any constructive suggestions/criticisms. Bye for now.

Also … an added comment that really isn't important … I really like Sizz-Lorr so I feel kind of bad making him into a monster … oh well.


	2. Surprise and Capture

Chapter 2: Surprise and Capture

XXX

Somewhere far away from any neighboring being of any sort on a little planet of mud and water was a teenager with black hair that resembled a scythe. He was presently slurping a drink known as poop and walking up to a door that had a men's sign on the door. The boy whom was a few inches short of being six foot then opened the said door and walked in not even bothering to knock. Dib sat down on a nearby couch handing a poop slurpy to Gir to keep him from stealing his. "So how do you think Zim's doing on Foodcourtia?" Asked the human as he stared at the evil monkey show on the monitor in front of him.

"He's probably eating monkeys?" Stated the robot as he stared aimlessly at the TV.

Dib shrugged his shoulders. Once a week he'd stop by to give Gir a slurpy and see if Zim has returned. It wasn't as if he was worried of Zim's return, but it had just become a habit over the past five years to come to the strange house and destroy Zim's experiments. "Hey computer you got any nachos?"

A huge sigh came out from the walls. "Dib human what are you doing here? You know I'm probably just going to throw you out again."

"Why bother? Zim's not even here?" added the human as he took another sip only to have his treat stolen when Gir finished his. "Hey!"

"Oh fine. Quit your screeching … you screech like a fruit bat by the way." There was a long silence as Dib and Gir watched TV until the computer spoke again. "Thanks for checking up on us Dib … it really means a lot."

"Your welcome … you're still not going to throw me out are you?" Asked Dib as he stared at the TV entranced by the monkey. Usually the monkey wasn't able to work its charm on him, but since Zim disappeared it had gotten incredibly boring.

"Yes … yes I am."

"Can I have my nachos first?"

"No."

XXX

Zim sat on his cot staring at the wrinkles in his sheet … he had a small smile on his lips. It wasn't that he was glad to be here or that he had finally gone mad thus the grin was an outcome of insanity, it was because he had been in bed for over a week. Yet that wasn't the best part … Sizz-Lorr hadn't touched him, hadn't even threatened to touch him the whole time. Zim pulled his hand from underneath his legs and started drawing on the sheet with a finger. The little doodles only lasted momentarily until they disappeared, but Zim was glad to see things like Gir, his base, and his voot cruiser even if only they were only doodles that disappeared as soon as they were drawn.

A sudden whoosh dragged the irken from his daydreams and he stared up at the door expecting it to be Shaloo with his meal. He had a meal twice a day and had to eat everything … no exceptions. Zim had no idea why he had to forcibly eat when his pak took care of all his needs, but his pak was presently plugged in at the moment and had been since he woke up. So that's probably why he was required to eat. At first his meals made him feel better, but now his squeedly spooch was acting funny and making him spill his guts almost every morning. He couldn't wait till he no longer had to eat… hopefully this mornings meal wouldn't end up in the toilet like yesterday.

Except right now he'd make an exception in complaining part … Sizz-Lorr had brought in his next meal, his last meal probably. "Sizz-Lorr." Whimpered Zim as he plastered his back against the wall that his cot was leaning against.

Sizz-Lorr merely raised his eye in a questioning manner. "It's not as if I poisoned it... I don't want to kill the employee who's taking over next shift." Zim didn't get time to question this because the fry cook was looming above him and pulling him away from the wall before he could even react. Zim twitched expecting to be pinned to the bed, but nothing. He just felt Sizz-Lorr's breath on his back and the clicking of his pak opening. "Hum … your pak's still a bit off. No matter, you're still helping Knuke this next shift." Zim twitched as he felt the cord being pulled out of his pak … okay friendly pleasantries over, time for screaming …

"Eat your meal Zim. All of it … then come to the front." Hissed Sizz-Lorr as he left Zim to his meal. The smaller irken watched the door for a moment and sighed. It seemed that his brief freedom from the fry cook was over. Zim sighed again and looked at his meal … wonderful.

XXX

Larr Nar took a sip of his drink and glared over at the counter were the workers of Shloogorgh's were bustling about … he had been coming in for the past four days waiting, patiently waiting, but he hadn't found whom he was looking for yet. Perhaps Jinker had over exaggerated about the whole irken being with smeet thing ... irken didn't carry their offspring anyway. Their offspring were raised in tubes, which was why no enemy of the irkens had ever gotten their hands on a fetal smeet. Having an irken with child ... well, that was an opportunity one couldn't pass by.

The voritan sighed and got up. He had better things to do then spend all day in a restaurant watching stupid service drones. He had other things to do like finding ways to overthrow the Irken Empire. He'd come back tomorrow though. Jinker had always been a reliable source before so he'd come back. The alien was almost to the door when his horns perked up slightly.

"Hey Zim. Glad to see you up and about … enjoy breakfast?"

"No." came a growl. "I just knew Sizz-Lorr poisoned it. He's trying to kill me."

"What do you mean kill you?" came the other's voice … probably that irken Knuke who had taken his order.

"I feel like I'm about to spill the contents of my squeedly spooch all over the floor."

"Well … you must still be down in the dumps then, but if you think you're going to splatter your guts aim away from me okay?"

Larr Nar found himself ducking into the nearest booth. He kept his head low so no one would notice his spying. A little observation and hopefully the truth would reveal itself if this irken was in fact carrying a smeet. A sure sign would be if he puked all over the floor. Almost all species have some form of morning sickness and from what he heard that sounded very likely … but even if Zim wasn't pregnant his pak was still a valuable commodity. Either way this all wasn't going to be for nothing. The voritan clicked a button on a watch-like item on his wrist. The screen sizzled and then a cat-like figure appeared on the other end. His eye's gleamed in a rather sinister manner, especially with that scar running down over one eye.

"You still waiting for Jinker's fairytale to suddenly pop up?" stated the creature dully as he stared at his claws as if checking his nails for the need of a manicure.

"Well we'll see about that and careful. I don't want anyone picking up on this transmission. Either way we still have his defective pak … you guys ready." Stated the voritan demandingly at his fellow resisty Sin-o. Sin-o merely grinned and gave him a thumbs up. "Good, I'll give you a sign when it's time to take out your order."

…

Zim grabbed at his belly and clutched tightly to the register as he glared at the customer before him. It was a cat-like creature with a scar over one of his eyes giving him a rather sinister look. He believed this creature's species was Meomix and they were fairly intelligent creatures, not as intelligent as the irken of course, but rather smart. So why the hell was this one acting retarded!

"Um … I want purple flavored –

"There is no real flavor of purple!" Growled Zim as he dug his fingers into his belly. What was this pain! It didn't feel life threatening but still it … Oh Irk! Zim's guts suddenly twisted about and slammed against each other. The meomix merely gave a grin and then stared at the menu with this half glazed look in his eye. Zim suddenly felt his organs upsurge and he had to swallow rather quickly. Oh Irk! Before Zim knew it he had thrown his hand over his mouth and was running to the nearest toilet. He didn't even realized that he had pushed passed Sizz-Lorr and nearly knocked the irken into a vat of boiling oil that just happened to be there … of course the irken merely spilled it instead of falling in, sending of wave of hot agony at half the customers.

Sizz-Lorr watched half his customers jump onto the counters or the booth tops while others ran out the door smelling all crispy like fried chicken. The fry cook found himself storming toward the bathroom Zim had just ran into. He had planned on sparing the irken for a few more weeks, but nothing was better then angry sex … especially when it left bruises.

The huge irken ripped open the door and what he heard made him take a step back with a disgusted look … in fact, the half of the restaurant that hadn't ran out screaming about being boiled alive had the same disgusted look on their faces … except a few whom looked surprised. The fry cook watched Zim shiver a moment more as he grasped the bowl of the stool and then another blach noise came. The fry cook sighed … maybe he should have left the invader in bed another day or two. Either way this wasn't normal. Irken's did not just regurgitate their food unless it was not compatible with their system, but the food he had been giving Zim was regular irken food so why? And what of his pak? There was seriously something wrong here besides a starved pak. Either that voritan was an idiot or not telling the whole truth, but it didn't really matter now. Sizz-Lorr was deactivating Zim's collar and taking him to the nearest irken med-drone … as soon as he was done puking his guts out that is.

"Knuke help clean up Zim when he's … done. I'm taking him to a real med-drone."

Neither the irkens nor the few customers that remained noticed that all five customers that had had surprised expressions earlier now had worried looks. The meomix looked over at a voritan whom gave him a nod and before Knuke could even move he had been kicked in the gut and thrown into the freezer. "Yum … irken popsicles. My favorite!"

Shaloo only had time to whimper as the meomix then jumped into the back kitchen and stuffed him into a to-go box, which he then thrown into a shoot that led outside. Sizz-Lorr just stood there a moment staring in question as the remaining customers scampered outside and a group of resisty attacked his store. The huge irken didn't make a move though until the meomix made a jump for him. Of course Sizz-Lorr wasn't such a push over like his employees and quickly grabbed a huge specula from under the counter swatting the cat like a fly. Sin-o then went splat against a neighboring window like a bug on a windshield. The voritan rolled his eyes as he looked down at his companion that was a few feet away and then returned his gaze to the huge irken whom as trying to swat the rest of his crew as if they were all cockroaches.

"You think you can attack Sizz-Lorr!" Hissed the irken as he slammed away an attacker, which resembled a strange mixture of ape and goat.

There was an awkward silence that filled the room for a little bit and then Larr Nar spoke. "But we just did … and you're loosing."

The irken was silent for a moment. "Well … I'm still not loosing." The voritan screamed like a little girl and ducted underneath a table before the huge spatula squished him into squishy bits of squishy goo of squishiness.

The three remaining crew members watched the voritan scream and run around the restaurant for a few moments until they finally decided that maybe they should do their job before the specula wielding maniac squished their leader and came after them.

"Okay." Asked the ape-like creature known as Buckomonk as he stared at his fellow crewman. "What now?"

A slightly shorter voritan with pale skin rolled his eyes. "The spatula guy hit you pretty hard didn't he. Our retrieval mission is right there." He pointed at Zim whom had finally stopped upchucking and was weakly leaning on the bathroom door watching the whole scene with a look of distress. "Now go get him."

Buckomonk shook his head. "No way am I getting puked on … it'll take forever to get the chunks out of my hair." The three crewmen quickly then started a round of rock-paper-scissor to decide who was going to capture Zim and cut his collar off.

Zim watched for a moment … they were after him? Why? He had never even met these people! Of course he had never met Tak either and she had tried to kill him so he could know these people in a weird sense. Either way, he was now going to go hide in the delivery shoot and maybe get this collar off. One thing about this whole predicament was now he had a chance to escape.

Sin-o had finnly managed to peel himself off the window and couldn't help but roll his eyes as he watched Zim sneak away from the idiots he dared call shipmates. The cat creature watched a moment more as the irken managed to grab a kill-o-lot ray gun that someone had dropped and blow away the collar on his neck. A sigh of relief then escaped the irken as he threw off the hilarious uniform he was wearing and the he started to run for the door. Sin-o looked back over at his fellow crewmates … Larr Nar was still running around trying not to be squished and the three-some was going for six out of seven. The meomix rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of chicken out of a bucket, took a bite, watched Zim sneak pass Sizz-Lorr and his intended victim … no one had noticed yet! Sin-o sighed, "Fine. Can't even enjoy my chicken."

Zim felt a small ting of joy jump in his throat. He was out of here now that he had gotten that collar off and with Sizz-Lorr distracted … well freedom was only a snacky cab away. The irken tried not to jump with joy as he sneaked out the front door. "Freedom!" whispered Zim, but he only was allowed to take one step forward and then something slammed into the back of his head a few times … then the world went black.

Sin-o watched the irken go down with an ump … Larr Nar said not to harm the irken, but the meomix was rather certain that beating the irken unconscious with a drumstick wasn't under the list of harmful. The meomix took a bite out of his piece of chicken and pulled Zim up by his armpits. "Well … that was fun and not to mention chicken lick'en good."

XXX

Jinker looked at Larr Nar's head wound for a moment before putting a small med-robot on top of the injured voritans head so it could give him a few stitches. "It could have been worse." He stated calmly as he threw his gaze over to Zim for the tenth time as the other crew secured him to one of the ships many medical beds. His fingers were just itching to reexamine the irken yet first he had to give Mr.-I-must-be-dieing a few stitches and a cast on his horn before he could even hope to do such a thing. From what he understood the fellow voritan had nearly been specula-ed to death.

"Not … bad? Not bad! I was nearly squished to squishy gooeyness of doom! DOOM!" Stated Larr Nar in a panic as he shifted on the medical bed that he was presently seated on.

"Oh please, it was a giant spatula … it couldn't have been that bad?" stated Jinker … he was met by a number of glares as the rest of the crew bandaged themselves up. It had been quite a hilarious sight to see actually, when the five of them ran into the ship crying like little whipped girls … okay, maybe it was just Larr Nar who came running in like a girl while the others were merely covered in spatula like bruises. "Okay … so tell me again. This Sizz-Lorr said he thought I was lying … did he act like he knew what was really going on?"

"No." Whimpered Larr Nar as he tried not to flinch. Putting a bandage on ones horn is a tricky business. "But luckily we got the irken before he did find out about the pregnancy … who knows what would have happened."

Sin-o perked up one of his black ears as he stopped eating his bucket-o-chicken for a moment. He sat up and looked at the irken that was on the bed opposite of him. "Do you really think a male is pregnant? I mean he's male."

Jinker finished with Larr Nar's cast and looked over at the meomix. "You do realize that irkens are incredibly durable creatures … their only real weakness we know of is the removal of their paks." The cat creature nodded and continued in the snacking of his bucket, yet he was still listening because one ear was tilted in the voritan's direction. "Being so durable their bodies adaptive very well. So adaptive in fact that in a mating crisis the male irkens developed the organs necessary to reproduce in an all male population … of course this adaptation occurred thousands of years ago and has long since faded from memory since irkens no longer breed… no longer can. The irkens have used the tubes so long that the body adapted and almost completely ridded itself of the energy wasting organs… why do you think we've been targeting the smeet tanks over the snacks nowadays?"

"Okay …" stated the meomix as he looked back over at the two voritans. "Then why are we keeping this one alive? Wouldn't it make more sense to kill an irken that can reproduce then keeping him alive?"

Larr Nar cleared his throat. "There are three reasons: one, we can steal the plans of his defective pak; two, being able to have the records of a developing smeet could give us invaluable information on irken physiology and better ways to destroy the smeet hatcheries; and three … leverage. The irkens would probably give anything to have their only fertile irken back." The voritan couldn't help but smile. "I … could free our planet; all our planets."

"Before you get all excited Larr Nar; perhaps you should make double sure he's with smeet before you cash in that lotto ticket of yours." Stated a tall crystal being as she stepped into the room.

"Oh Gem? Hello … everything's well up front I'm sure. Not being attack or anything?" stated the voritan as he tried not to blush. He hated looking like an idiot in front of her. Gem was lovely in all aspects … but she was a crystal being and he was a voritan; it would never work. Didn't mean he didn't like her any less though.

"No, everything's fine. I'll be heading back to bridge now. Just making sure everyone was alright." Gem tried not to smile at the voritan. Why was he always blushing?

A minute or two passed and Larr Nar was still staring at the place where the crystal being had been standing. Sin-o finally got bored and threw a chicken wing at his head. "Quit ogling the air captain. We have a irken to violate."

A small groan escaped Zim … he had been dreaming of chicken and his head hurt. The irken made a grab for his head so he could suffer properly, but it was then that he realized that he couldn't move his arm. The irken pulled at his other limbs; they wouldn't move either. Zim snapped his eyes open and whimpered as he stared up at the two voritans, which were standing over him. There was also another being or two in room that Zim couldn't see, but they weren't his worry. His worry was of the voritan that was clothed in medical robes and holding a sinister looking tool in his hand … plus, he was smiling; never a good sign.

"WHERE AM I?! Who are you people!" Cried Zim as he pulled against the restraints.

"We are –

"WHO ARE YOU!" Zim cried again.

Larr Nar's brow twitched. "We are –

"I SAID WHO ARE YOU?!"

"We are the –

"WHO ARE YOU?!"

This, over course, carried on for another minute until Zim had a piece of chicken thrown at his head as well. "Shut up you defect!" cried Sin-o. "You are a prisoner of the Resisty on the new voritan ship Transnew. And because of you I just lost my last piece of chicken." The cat creature pulled his ears back and glared at the invader who merely gulped in worry.

"What are you going to do to me?" Zim asked, yet he already knew what … they were going to steal his pak and leave him to die on this bed a horrible ten-minute death.

"You'll just have to wait and see. Now won't you?" An evil grin pulled at the meomix's lips and he slowly jumped off the bed. He then quickly picked up the chicken leg that had fallen on the floor and headed for the exit. "Tell me if you find what you're looking for?" And with that he shut the door leaving Zim alone with the two voritans.

"Looking for? What are you looking for?" Zim pulled at his restraints more violently and he felt the panic rise in his chest. They were going to rip him open while he was still alive! He didn't want to die that way! He didn't want to die at all! The voritan took a step away from the bedside and headed for the feet of the bed instead. Zim tried to pull his head up to see what the being was doing down there but he was bound to tightly … it wasn't until he felt his legs being pulled upward and spread that he realized what they were looking for.

"Stop! What are you doing down there! STOP! STOP!" Zim tried to force his legs together but the voritan had already put the restraints upward so he couldn't do anything but wriggle. "STOP damn it! Zim commands you to stop!"

The voritan smiled at Zim as a pair of gloves grew over his hands from the bracelet-like items on his wrists. "Don't worry … I'll be more gentle then Sizz-Lor." Zim's eyes widened with horror and he suddenly stopped thrashing. "Believe me, the way you were torn up down there it wasn't very hard telling who had been fucking you for what … three months? By the look of the scaring that's what I'm guessing it's been."

Zim shook his head, antennae waving. "NO! NO! NO! He never touched Zim! He never _raped_ … me."

The med-drone halted in his work of setting out tools to stare at Zim and the invader felt his flesh set aflame. He had said that filthy earth word! How had he said it! He promised himself that he wouldn't! He refused to and yet he just had. The two voritans now were staring at him more intently then they had before. Rape wasn't a well-known word, but Zim was rather certain they knew what it meant … god, he felt so filthy. Maybe it was a good thing they were going to kill him. No matter how much time he spent in the cleansing room he would never feel clean; he'd never be clean again would he?

"He didn't seem the soave type so I'm not surprised he forced himself on you … but then again if he hadn't we wouldn't be here now would we? I'm sorry but I can't feel sorry for you." And with that Zim went tense as he felt Jinxer pull down his pants completely and try to force something cold inside of him. "If you don't relax a little this is going to be more painful then it has to be. I really don't want to force it." Zim's breath just wheezed as the item penetrated him a little farther … Oh Irk! The feeling of that thing inside him was bringing back memories he never wanted to recall and he just couldn't relax his muscles despite the pain it was causing him; he just couldn't calm down with images of Sizz-Lorr's midnight rapings slamming into his mind. A gasping breath escaped the irken pulling him from the past trauma and to the present. Jinker had forced the item in all the way and it was freezing not to mention moving. A small flicker appeared down by the med-drone and the voritan that had been watching the whole time walked away towards the feet of the medical bed.

"Ugh … what's that?" Asked Larr Nar as he stared at the screen that was having its image transferred from the item Jinker had just forced inside the invader.

Jinker smiled and his fingers couldn't help but twitched with excitement. "What we're looking for. See that small sac … that is where the fetal smeet will be developing for the next few months. See, this dot is the development of the eye and this here is –

"WHAT!" Zim's antennae were raised to their full height and he started thrashing about despite the item that was shoved into him. "You're lying! Lying!"

The voritans looked upward with grimaced expressions. "What did you think was wrong with you or perhaps the reason you're still alive?" Zim just thrashed on his medical bed shaking his head in disbelief. "Fine, don't believe me but the camera never lies." A smile crept on Jinker's face as he watched Zim's expression as he stared at the screen. He stopped thrashing, whimpering, cursing, and pretty much everything except breathing. Zim couldn't move … all he could do was stare. "Now if I knew a little thing like a picture of a developing smeet would calm you down, I would have done it sooner."

The captain stared at the still irken for a moment. He hadn't seen the emotion of fear very often on any irkens face, but it was fairly obvious that Zim was. He'd probably break down into tears at any moment. "Congrats mommy Zim. I would let you have a baby shower but I'm afraid that you might get more then just diapers and teething rings in your wrapped boxes." The voritan then nodded to the med-drone beside him. "Now if you excuse us we have some bargaining to do with the Tallest … we're going to find out just how expensive your hide is going to be."

Zim just stared at them unable to come up with a comment. His mind was over loading! The irken didn't even jump when the med drone pulled the examination device out of him. "Yes Zim, I'm sure the Tallest will be thrilled." Added Jinker. "They'll probably start knitting little irken socks right away, but first things first. You need another hormone shot … it seems that your pak is doing one thing right. Its removing unknown substances from the blood stream … most of those substances being hormones necessary for the smeet's continued growth." The voritan beside him flinched as the med-drone pulled something out of the bag beside him. "Now this will be just a pin-prick." He held in hand a needle that was about eight inches long with a yellow liquid inside. "A shot once a month is more then efficient."

Zim's eyes grew in horror as the metal item punctured his belly. A warmth quickly spread over his body … it was the same warmth he remembered feeling when he woke up from collapsing the other day. "See … now don't you feel better?" Mocked the med-drone as he pulled the metal object back out. "And I'm sure little smeety junior is feeling better too. Now good night, some food will be sent in later."

Then they were gone. Leaving Zim with a warm belly, a sore ache between his legs, and a head swimming with questions that were just threatening to consume him. This wasn't happening. Zim tried to thrash and get away from this nightmare, but then his leg hit something … they had forgotten their vid-screen. Zim's smile quickly disappeared though when he realized that he wouldn't be able to contact anyone with this one way vid-screen, but he certainly could listen in on conversations; specifically ones about him.

XXX

Larr Nar couldn't help but pop a breath mint in. True, one could not smell a being's breath over a telecommunication screen but still. This was the Tallest we're talking about here. They'll insult a being for any reason under the sun. "Has the hail been received yet?" Asked the leader nervously.

"It's just coming through." Stated the ships computer … thankfully it wasn't retarded like the last one, faulty wiring and such.

Suddenly the black screen gave way to a gray snow and finally an image appeared. There stood Tallest Red and Purple both in mid-bite of their snacks. A huge sigh escaped Red and he put down his snack and relaxed back into his chair. Purple did the same, but kept eating.

"Not you guys again. I just ate and laughing may cause me to spew my latest meal all over the pilots." The irkens down below all shivered but made no attempt to move. "So … what do you want? You going to try to attack us again because last time the ship was having a malfunction so I promise you'll be blown to bits before you can even blink."

Purple merely nodded his head and continued eating.

Larr Nar tried not to smile as he stared at the two. They had no idea what he was about to slam into their faces. "No … no. I was hoping on coming to a friendly exchange perhaps? The freedom of these planets," over a dozen planets flashed on the screen causing Red to raise his antennae in question, "for the return of something of yours."

Purple gave Red the look and then both fell out of their chairs laughing. Larr Nar had expected that reaction so he just stood there pretending to look at his nails until they grew tired of their humor and got back down to business. The voritan could promise that the irkens wouldn't be laughing at the end of this.

It took about ten minutes for the two leaders to crawl back into their seats exhausted from their laughter. Red swallowed a giggle that was threatening to escape. "Okay, okay. May I ask what is worth the freedom of all these planets?" Red tried to swallow a giggle and Purple readied himself for another laughing fest that was bound to come with the voritans answer.

Larr Nar continued to look at his nails, trying to act all cocky and such. "Well I recently found something very interesting. Can I ask you a question? When was the last womb carried irken born?"

The communication room on the Massive went silent. There wasn't even the clicking of buttons from the pilots … everyone was listening and Larr Nar knew all eyes were on him. He couldn't help but get a small smile on his face as he looked up at the shocked expressions on the leaders faces.

Red's antennae's pulled down as well as Purple's whom had stopped his snacking and was now glaring at the screen. "What did you say?" Growled Purple as he rose to his feet.

Red quickly followed, but turned his attention to the crew instead of the screen. "Everyone leave! Don't come back until you're called!" Red watched as the smaller irkens all rushed out of the room … including his advisors. With everyone gone Red finally spoke. "What are you bargaining with? Tell me!"

Larr Nar continued to smile. "Well … let's just say, rhetorically of course, that if I did have a irken that was with smeet what would you be willing to trade for them? Would you be willing to trade the planets I mentioned earlier, along with all their people, to me and agree never to bother those planets again? Of course this is just a rhetorical –

"Shut your filthy mouth!" Cried Red as he took another step forward. "You do not have a pregnant irken and we all know it! Even if you did you couldn't use it for leverage! In fact it would just give us another reason to blow you out of the sky. Irken's don't carry smeet anymore because it's a crime. It is unknown if the smeet will be born defective so bearing has been outlawed and any irken found pregnant will be executed immediately! So tell me Mr. Resisty leader … do you still want to bargain. Rhetorically of course." Red was panting by now and Purple just had this shocked expression on his face as he stared at his fellow leader.

Purple gave Red a look and continued even though Red was obviously done with the voritan. "Yes … you still want to make a deal? Perhaps we could –

"Well goodbye then." Snapped the voritan as he cut off the transmission paying no mind to Purple.

Purple glared at his co leader and resisted the urge to slap him. "What the Irk was that outburst about! You could have tried to keep him on a little longer so we could track him! What are we going to do now? We have no idea where he is nor which irken he was talking about."

Red was still glaring at the screen panting. "Don't worry purple. We'll start looking at the top of the list for missing irkens. We'll start with invaders since they could be easily overpowered being without back up and when we do finally find the one he captured we'll know what general vicinity he's in." Red then turned away from the screen and called in his crew. They all came rushing in a ready. "It seems that the Resisty have taken something valuable to us. It is now top priority to find the Resisty's new ship the Transnew. Don't fail us."

XXX

Paw07: Yes, I know that this is a really angst story and some of the retarded moments don't fit quite well, but I like my retarded humor what can I say? Plus, this is the Zim universe we're talking about here. Also, I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far and that it isn't too much of a rip off of the general Zim Im-preg stories…. Can anyone see where the story's going yet? I hope it's not too predictable.


	3. Jumping Ship

Chapter 3: Jumping Ship

XXX

Zim was shaking when the screen finally went black. He had never seen Red so angry … not even the time he destroyed Impending Doom One had he been that angry. The invader felt his insides quiver … he had to get rid of this thing, now! Zim pulled at his restraints until his arms started to ache. With gasping breath he plopped back down onto the bed. Okay, that wasn't going to work. He needed another way. Maybe he could outsmart the guards, but how? The invader swallowed and then it occurred to him … play sick. If he played along long enough he could make an escape … to bad he had already thrown up everything from this morning. Well, if he couldn't escape at least he could puke on his guard's shoes.

Yet, just like clockwork, the door slammed open and in strolled a very angry Meowmix and a plate of food.

"Well that blows!" he hissed as he walked over to Zim, his reflection dancing softly in the white tile which was enhancing the white-ness of the infirmary. "You're leaders are so fricken irritating! No wonder you tried to destroy your own planet as well as killed the last Tallest."

Zim glared at him, pulling his antennae back and trying to hide the screen by shifting the blanket that was on top of him. Not that Irken's needed blankets; they were superior after all … but he did feel kind of cold so he was glad they gave him one. "Those were accidents!"

Sin-o merely smiled, "Sure they were …"

The cat-like creature suddenly sat on Zim's bed, a smile digging deeply into his face like a blade. Zim twitched as he watched the creature lean over him and snatched the screen. A soft tisking noise escaped his throat as if scolding a child. He looked at the screem for a moment as if re-watching what Zim had just witnessed. He then dropped his gaze to the invader and purred, "Poor little Irken, your hide is worthless to your leaders, but not to us."

The Meowmix then took one of his long hands and cupped Zim's chin making the Irken shudder as the cat's claws threatened to break skin. Zim hated being touched by anyone without permission … he just didn't want anyone touching him, dirtying him more then he already was.

"Don't touch me!" growled Zim as he snapped at the offensive hand and struggled against his restraints.

The Meowmix quickly pulled away before he could be bit. He glared at Zim for a moment before that same smile crept over his face. He then cupped Zim's chin again, but kept his grip hard so the Invader couldn't bite him and he stated, "Now don't be angry at me or the others … you should be thanking us. Now you must promise me that you won't try to claw my eyes out when I un-strap your wrists. I'm not going to spoon feed you."

Zim growled and spit in the other's face gaining a frown from the other beast and surprisingly not a slap as he hissed, "I'm not eating that filth!"

The Meowmix's fingers twitched with the need to discipline the Irken, but Zim was now a valuable commodity even though the Irken Empire didn't want him. In fact, they had made him a little more valuable in stating that they wanted him dead because it meant only one thing: this was a dirty little secret.

Regaining his composure, the Meomix added, "Like you have a choice? In fact, you should be thanking us. If that Sizz-Lorr character had been able to take you to an Irken medical drone, like he had planned, you'd be dead by now. We are your only hope now … you're dead without us."

Zim twitched as he felt the restraints on his arms being removed … yet he didn't find himself striking out like he had planned on doing earlier. Instead, he could only stare at the Meowmix as he rose to his feet, smiling down at him. The Meowmix then ran a finger over Zim's cheek wiping something away. "I can honestly say I've never seen an Invader cry and I truly didn't know they could. I also don't know if I should be happy or not … now eat your food. I'll check on you in a bit."

The Meowmix was already to the door when he called back, "Because I know you have no other place to go. You have no purpose in escaping now."

XXX

Sizz-Lorr couldn't help but smirk as he stared at the control panel before him. So had that little defective traded sides and made it look like an Irken-napping so he could get away from him? Well these Resisty were a joke! He had been a top Invader once upon a time before he had discovered his … defect! Well, he might be a food drone, but he was still a soldier and none of his men went a-wall on him.

Especially, when they offered him a particular pleasure in his horrible existence.

The huge Irken suddenly smiled when he saw a faint glimmer in the haunting blackness of outer space. He had finally caught up. "Zim your ass is mine … literally."

XXX

Red threw his drink that the counsel scaring Invader Xixen whom had just answered the hail.

"My-my Tallest? Is something the matter?" asked the Irken with deep purple eyes as he started to twitch in his very skin. He could see Red was enraged … and Purple wasn't even eating. He was just standing there with a growling expression. Oh Irk … he was dead. What had he done wrong? Had he been too slow in invading? Had he not met up to standards for the puppet show a few weeks ago on probing day? Why? He didn't want to die.

"Why are you there!" growled Red as he started to pace, not giving the screen a second glance as his mind panicked for his next action to take in this crisis. "Damn, we're already up to 'X' Purple. There aren't many invaders left to hail."

"Indeed," added Purple as his antennae twitched and he pulled them down against his head as he stared at Xixen. He was starting to worry. Perhaps, he shouldn't have lounged so much so often and paid attention. He might have noticed the Irken before the Resisty's did. The leader ran his fingers over his thick metallic wrists in a nervous manner and directed his attention to the Invader.

"Invader Xixen have you noticed any fellow Invader's disappearances recently … any Irken in generally actually?" stated the purple leader in a demanding and yet calm tone earning him a confused look from the shorter Irken. He wasn't at all surprised by the look. He had received it dozens of time in the past few hours because he rarely talked in such an edict tone, but Red was in a voracious mood leaving him to the job. Purple wasn't stupid like so many thought … he had earned the right to act stupid and irresponsible all day. After all, one didn't just grow tall overnight … he had to survive through Invader training like everyone else.

If Xixen had any eyebrows they would have been raised. That was an extremely odd question coming from one of the Tallest, because the Tallest didn't seem to care if some random Irken went missing beforehand. "No sir, I haven't."

Red screamed and stomped out of the room leaving the small Irken looking flushed. Purple sighed and his antenna twitched again. Red was snapping because he knew it was his own fault in acting to quickly with the Resisty leader. And what would they do if they didn't get a hold of that Irken? It could be a huge blow and that's something they couldn't just afford right now. Purple flicked his wrist at the screen and the Invader looking at him.

"Invader Xixen," Purple addressed, "you are to leave your post and look for any missing Irkens, especially Invaders. If they are dead move on to the next one. Also, above all else, if you spot the Resisty's ship you are to call the Armada and then attack. Any Irken's in the ship are to be taken into your custody immediately. In fact, the Irken who finds those blasted menaces first gets a rise in rank."

"Yes, my Tallest!" stated the Irken a little too excitably.

Purple sighed and flopped down into his chair only to find that Red and sulk back in. He looked really put out. Guilt was not a good look for his fellow leader.

"Why did I hang up?" he asked

"Cause you're an idiot," growled Purple as the next hail sprang into motion.

Red sighed and took a sip of his drink as he added, "Who's next, and we better get that message about the Resisty out. There are some really power hungry Irkens that would rake the darkness of space for even a chance to raise their stature. We'll find those Resisty idiots in no time."

"We'd better, Red. There's more on the line then you know."

"Believe me I know," hissed Red as his claws ripped deeply into the armrest of his white floating chair, causing small pieces of plastic to crumble to the floor.

XXX

Sizz-Lorr's thumb was twitching above the red button on his ship's control screen. He decided to start this search and capture mission with a little bit of firepower when suddenly there was a blimp on his communications screen. The larger Irken groaned and rolled his eyes. Nonetheless, he was obligated to read it since it was an urgent news update from the Tallest. The food drone dragged his finger's lazily away from the 'Major Doom' button and over to the screen clicking the open button. It wasn't the usual junk mail … it was a message stating that the Tallest were looking for any missing Invaders and that it should be reported to the Tallest immediately. The huge Irken couldn't help but give a disgruntle huff. It was just one of the Tallest's missing pets, and he could care less. So he closed the document not bothering to read the rest … missing some rather important details.

"Alright, little distraction aside … lets get to the explosions," chuckled and the button clicked.

Larr Nar sat in his captain's chair just staring into the depths of space. He was still slightly peeved that he wasn't able to make a direct exchange. He wanted his planet free, not to continue in this war that wasn't really a war since they had to run away most of the time. The Voritan started sighed. Well, at least he didn't break down into a sweat when he was confronting the Tallest. As a leader he had to look strong … to bad he didn't feel that way. He was sure that if he got out of the chair, the moment his feet hit the floor they would crumble into glass shards while the rest of his body followed after. Of course this idea was quickly put to the test … not voluntarily of course.

The explosion was near the rear of the ship, taking out the engines, which of course meant an automatic shutdown on the other engine so the ship wouldn't start driving itself in circles. It also meant they couldn't run away; their ship was dead in an ocean of blackness. A cry of rage escaped the Voritan as he rose to his feet, "What was that!"

"Isn't it obvious!" roused one of the ship's pilots as he turned to look at their commander, his deep red eyes settling on his shocked commander's face. "Someone blew out one of our engines."

Larr Nar's face sank and he had to swallow a gasp of fear as he whispered, "The-the Armada?"

The red-eyed green-skinned, almost human looking pilot looked back at the status report before replying, "No. It seems to be a smaller ship … and the driver has boarded by the look of were the ships been parked. Besides, if it was the Massive we'd already be dead."

The Voritan pulled his antenna upward and dived deeply into his thoughts, using his scientific mind to calculate his next move as if looking at a chessboard. After a few seconds of silence and the gathering of his men, did he speak, "Anyone who's not a pilot grabs a weapon. We need to get rid of this intruder so I want everyone to split into groups of four and -Wait!" A thought struck him … why would just a single person attack them? They couldn't win … unless they weren't planning on conquering the ship, just taking something. "Send someone to the medical bay to guard that Irken! It's probably a hunter drone."

Zim of course had little worries about such things like hunter drones. His current issue was getting to his feet. It had been painful, excruciating really when the sudden halting in the ships engines caused his belly to be slammed violently into the bedside table his food had been sitting on. The Irken growled as the pain started to dampen. Half of him wished it wouldn't, wishing that the hit would have been strong enough so his body would be forced to abort it. Yet, it was fairly obvious that that wasn't going to happen due to the fact that he was no longer in pain. The invader rubbed his slightly sore belly one more time before getting to the floor. What had that sound been? It sure the hell wasn't the Armada or he'd already be dead. The Irken rubbed his wrists together and stared at the door.

His antennae pulled back against his head and he wondered aloud, "Since the Meowmix did un-cuffed me that must mean I'm free to go anywhere I want on the ship; be it from the food dispenser to the area that sound came from. The Irken pushed the button to the exit and slowly poke his head out his antennae twitching in case he had to move suddenly. Where was the Meowmix? He was sure that the cat creature would have had at least enough paranoia left in him to watch the door.

"Oh well, Zim will just have to take this time to escape and get rid of a little problem," said the Irken as he rubbed his hand absent-mindedly over his belly. "Nothing personal … I just like being alive. Now where are the escape pods?"

The Invader swept his antennae around as well as his eyes. He hadn't been in the ship long enough to instinctively know where the docking station was, but he was sure he could manage_. Just stay out of sight and I'll be out of this hellhole in no time_. Zim took a few tense steps until his steps were halted by a vice-like grip squeezing on his arm. The Irken hissed and turned around cursing the Meowmix. "I thought I was precious cargo? So stop crushing my arm! Besides you were the one who un-cuf- ! SIZZ-LORR!"

Instinctively, the Irken found himself tugging violently against his arm and even contemplating gnawing it off if the larger Irken would stay still long enough. Of course this idea didn't have time to be tested as the larger Irken gave another almighty tug and started to trudge down the hall, chuckling, "You will not escape this time Zim for I am Sizz-Lorr."

"I know you're bloody name fry cook!" hissed the being as he tugged fiercely trying to stop the tugging when it hit him. Why had Sizz-Lorr come after him? Had the Tallest found out it was him … that he was the filthy smeet carrier and wanted to punish him personally? No. No. NO! He had to prove to himself and the Tallest that he wasn't some pushover unworthy of their kind. He had to conquer earth and prove his worth as an invader. His voice came out in little panicked breathes. "D-did the Tallest s-send you? P-please Sizz-Lorr d-don't."

The larger Irken halted and looked down at the small Invader with confusion. What the hell did that mean and why did Zim seem so frightened at the prospect of facing them? He adored the Tallest … stalked them almost.

"No," the large alien said cautiously, "They didn't. Why? The Tallest pissed at you or something?"

The little Irken merely stiffened as Sizz-Lorr got in his face. "I-I –"

Sin-o cursed to himself as he ran down the hall. He wasn't supposed to leave the medical bay! He wasn't supposed to leave! Someone was supposed to constantly be in or guarding the medical bay. The Meowmix turned the corner in a rush only to suddenly crash into something solid and warm, kind of flubby too like a whale but that was beside the point. He rubbed his head smoothing his ears back into an angry look before he turned to stare at whom ever he had ran into. As he rose to his feet Sin-o's words were caught in his throat before he could even speak and a shaking pointing claw replaced it, "I-It's y-you! Sizz-Lorr!"

"Yah … I think that's been established by his name tag."

The Meowmix turned his head and looked down, since he was taller then the other. It was the smeet carrier and Sizz-Lorr had a tight grip on one of his arms. Zim gave one more tired tug on his arm before glaring at the Meowmix. "Zim'll take the lesser of the two evils thank you very much. Now save me!"

"O-okay," he stated as Sin-o's ears dropped at the thought of fighting this huge monster … again. He swallowed and nervously looked down at the smeet-carrier. "You sure you don't want to go with him … you know some people would consider this romantic. Having your mate rescue you from-"

"Just do it!" Yelled Zim as he pulled at his arm again growling insults at whomever had been stupid enough to deactivate most of the defensive capabilities of his pak. Sizz-Lorr merely gave his arm a mighty jerk showing his dominance over the situation.

"So I was right about you collaborating with these fools … I would inform the Tallest, but they'd probably just say its my problem and go back to their nachos," grumbled Sizz-Lorr as he jerked Zim's arm a little more roughly this time when he tried to squirm away and noticed that once again Zim grabbed at his belly rather then his shoulder to keep it from being dislocated. That was rather strange … perhaps, the fool was still ill. He had found him in the medical bay after all and it wasn't like he had restraints on or anything.

The Meowmix pulled his ears back a little farther and hissed. He was no guard dog … but he sure could fight like one. A grunt filled fall and Zim found himself on the floor and then a huge pressure was removed from his arm as the massive Irken and the Meowmix started clawing into each other. He swallowed once in surprise and then was running down the hall before Sizz-Lorr even hit the floor, his feet slapping loudly against the dull tiling.

The halls slipped pass like a faded photograph and the invader was surprised how loudly his steps sounded. A sharp pain ran up the Irken's side for the fourth time in that past five minutes and he had to stop and take a few gasping breathes. Damn, the little beast was slowing him down. His body was so enticed with its care that it was ignoring his current needs … the energy to run for his bloody life! The Irken growled and took a few more relaxing breaths and allowed his eyes to wander toward a nearby window. He gasped once or twice more before willing his legs to move.

Of course, he never got to the window though. There was a soft buzzing and something dug into his back. Zim knew what it was immediately as he watched with an unmoving head as three spider-like appendages encircled him on both sides. The small Irken resisted the urge to swallow though as the feeling of a _fly caught in a web_ emotion captured him.

"What … you actually thought you were going to get away?" It was a purr to his antennae as the figure remained hidden from his sight. It sure wasn't Sizz-Lorr. The invader couldn't decide if he should be happy about that or not. The figure continued, purring in a victory tone. "I don't think the Tallest will be very happy knowing," the Irken tightened up as his mind ran over time. Oh god! This was a hunter! The Tallest had sent her hadn't they … he-he was going to be put to death! No! No! "- that you abandoned your post!"

Zim yelped as he was kicked in the back, falling flat on the floor. He quickly turned his head to see who the hell had kicked him and what the hell they had meant by abandoning his post. Weren't they here to kill him? The Irken's eyes grew wide and he had to sit up completely before he gained the nerve to speak. "T-tak?"

"Of course it's me you spineless buffoon!" yelled the female Irken as she took another step forward towering over the other Irken now. "You will not be stealing my next raise in the ranks! You stole that worthless planet from me, but not this one! Not this one, Zim!"

The Irken swallowed and slowly got to his feet, trying not to grin as he towered over the female with his height. He couldn't help but notice the awed look on her face. True, a foot's height difference wasn't that great by human standards, but it was a horrendous compared to Irkens. Zim glared down at her for a moment and the female swallowed as if expecting him to go on his usual rampaged. Zim squinted an eye and raised his antenna, "Huh?"

Tak took a step back, a look of surprised rage on her face before she slapped her forehead. She had momentarily forgot he was an idiot because of his new height, "What do you mean _huh_! You bloody well know what I mean! That captured Irken is mine. So go enslave that stupid little mud balls of yours already! This mission is mine. I will be an Invader!"

It took a whole lot of self-control not to take a frightened step back and whimper. It didn't take much to realize what she was taking about. She was talking about him, but didn't know it was him. Apparently, she thought he was here to steal her reward. Dib would have called this irony. The very being she hated more then anyone in the universe was the one person that she needed. Well, she'd be having no Zim. Zim owned Zim and he was going to live. Now was the time to 'play along.'

Zim smiled … human's were cunning when it came to deception and acting. He'd been there to long not to learn a few tricks, "Well too bad little Tak! This catch is mine. So how about you go back to your little ship and leave this to the big boys?"

Zim then pointed down one hall and put a grin on. _Please work, please work._

Her eyes turned into slits as her gaze followed his pointing finger. "My ship isn't that way fool!" He shifted his finger more to the left. "It's not there either!" He pointed a little more the left. "No." More to the right. "No!" He shifted his finger down the opposite passage. "No, you nimrod! It's that way!" Tak pointed to a door.

"Oh," said Zim stupidly as he tried to hide a grin. _Home free_. "Well, I shall be on my way. Enjoy the rank rise."

Tak stood there moment, just blinking as the other Irken turned his back to her and started to walk away, "W-what?"

"You heard me," called Zim in his acting-carefree tone as he headed in that direction. "Zim can earn his own raise."

The other Irken merely huffed, tightened her glare and tromped off in the other direction. Zim's antennae twitched as he listened to each step. Only once he was sure that she was long gone did he start running. He didn't want this thing so why was he going to be punished for something that wasn't his fault? If anyone should be punished it should be the impregnator … Sizz-Lorr!

The invader was so entrapped within his thoughts he barely caught notice that he was typing in Earth's coordinates into Tak's new ship as it mildly protested in her irritating voice and none to soon. Out of the corner of the Invader's eye he caught a slight glance at a huge ship. The Massive … it was so rightfully named and then the engines roared to life. Zim dared not look back as the two larger ships started their facedown.

XXX

Zim leaned heavily on the counsel of his home base computer, hanging his antenna in front of his face in an exhausted manner. Irk, he was tired and somehow he had just managed to sneak away before the Tallest had noticed him, not to mention that bastard Sizz-Lorr, the Resisty, and Tak! How the Irk had be managed to pull that off he'd never know … now to the business at hand. The Irken pressed against his belly slightly, feeling its warmth. He had to get rid of this thing. If the Tallest would find out he'd be dead before he could even twitch an antennae. Besides … it was disgusting. It was like one of those slushy and bloody human pregnancies … to alike. Besides, there was no way he could carry it to full term. He'd probably die do to his pak's constant revolting and the fact that he had no idea how a birthing was done anyway. In fact, at this very moment his pak was starting to get slightly jittery … he just hoped that he wouldn't pass out in the coming procedure.

Slowly, Zim dragged his heavy head upward and stared at the computer screen.

"Computer," he choked, barely able to whisper, his guts hurt. Nasty thing.

The computer was silent for a moment before answering, "If you're going to die; please not on my consul."

The Irken was in no mood for this crap and slammed his fist down on the keyboard earning a soft, buzzing protest from the electronic being, "Computer, I'm in no mood. Prepare the medical bay! I have a little problem I need to get rid of and there's no way I'm asking Gir because he'll probably gut me!"

Computer was silent as he downloaded all the necessary files for Irken medical care. This had to be one of the first times Zim had ever required medical care and least of all from him. It must have been incredibly bad, "Programs downloaded. Please enter symptoms so I can make a proper diagnosis."

Zim walked away from the computer and sat on a table that had just popped out of the floor; he tried to pay the huge scanners over the table no mind. The Irken sat there a moment just staring at his fingers, which were presently overlapping his belly. Would it feel anything?

"Zim I need to know the symptoms or what happened."

No answer, Zim just continued to hang his head.

"Fine!" grumbled Computer, "Then will you please remove your gloves, boots, and military top."

There was defiantly something wrong with Zim. He could tell by the alien's sluggish movement and drooped antennae alone. Irken's antennae only dropped forward when incredibly sick or depressed, "Please drop firewalls for proper pak scanning."

A loud sighed escaped the Irken and he did as Computer told him. It was only a matter of seconds before Computer plugged into his back and found out his disgusting secret. Zim slowly removed his gloves once finger at a time and then his shirt. He could tell that Computer was watching him like one of those earth birds called a hawk by the inactivity of all the other mechanics in the room. There was then a loud echoing clank as Zim's boots fell to the metallic floor. He then gripped the table knowing that he was about to get a huge cord slammed into the import in his pak … medical evaluations weren't the most comfortable of things.

A computer cord crept up from the table the invader was on and danced for a moment like a snake. Zim's pak opened up in response and soon a small whimper filled the room as Computer entered the pak's database. A long silence followed until Computer continued, "You're pak is very low on energy. I shall start recharging it now. There are also weird chemical readings that I'm receiving from your pak and apparently it's stating that there is a large infecting that it is having great difficulty destroying. This same infection must be what's causing the drain on your pak. Overall, data is inconclusive. Staring table scans."

Light quickly fell from the machinery above the table tumbling over Zim in a waving beam. Computer literally gasped and Zim buried his head in his hands.

"I already know what's wrong Computer … now get rid of it," Zim stated with a twitch, waiting for a collection of Computer's metallic hands to come out of the table and put him under, but what followed was the distinctive hum of a hail. The Irken pulled his head out of his hands and stared for a moment.

"What are you doing? I'm not talking to anyone till this thing is gone!" he barked.

Computer continued in his hail, stating, "Hidden system program written into every computer if a smeet carrier was ever discovered. System states that I am too contact the Tallest immediately."

Zim went stiff, "Wha-what?"

XXX

Paw07: Sigh … I don't feel right about this chapter. It seems a bit rushed doesn't it? I sure hope not. I hate putting out crappy chapters … oh well, as long as the plots moving along.


	4. Getting Down with the Sickness

Chapter 4: Getting Down with the Sickness

XXX

Red growled as he watched the escape hatches scatter like rats from a flood, or more exactly, the Resisty's ship. The leader watched as a few smaller Irken ships took off in pursuit … he doubted any of them would be caught though; they had gotten too much of a head start. It was as if they had been warned or attacked before the Massive's first assault.

"Were they warned?" Red hissed deeply as he watched several ships dig themselves through the thick armor of the Resisty's ship, ripping it apart before the engines were completely dead. The control room was silent, all the technicians and pilots too frightened to answer, "Well!"

"I-it is uncertain my Tallest, but the scouts are in the ship at least. Presently, they are searching every unit of the ship … if there are any Irkens that aren't from the Massive, they'll be brought on board. "In fact," added the masked Irken, "we seem to be getting a hail. Maybe they found something."

XXX

Zim sat there a moment in utter shock. His eyes still locked onto Computer's main console. T-this wasn't happening, yet the hum of the hail's second ring just destroyed that idea. He had to stop this! The invader jumped to the floor only to give a yelp of pain as the cord connecting to his pak tugged harshly, slamming his back against the table. Zim cringed in agony as he felt the cords inside his body give a violent tug as he struggled with his pak.

"Please remain seated Zim," came Computer's voice. It didn't hold its usual sarcasm or boredom, it was cold and harsh, "There's nowhere to go."

Zim stared at the computer screen, his mind frozen from shock. He had to move, he had to do something, but he was stuck here, well out of reach from the main console and there was no way he was going to be able to destroy the transmitter stuck to this table.

… Unless he ripped out his pak; the invader cringed at the thought.

The third hail rippled through the air like a gillateen's blade falling and taking the head of its prey. Zim's antenna twitched. He was dead if the Tallest found out about his _condition_. There was no doubt there, but if he took off his pak he'd have ten minutes to try and save himself. True, he was venerable and frail without his pak, but at least he had ten minutes.

Ten …

A strangled, slightly pained howl echoed over the room and then a spray of green blood splurged forth in a thin spray as Zim stepped away from the table, breathing in a sick syrupy way as his organs were assaulted with the stress of being self reliant. He stood there just shaking for a second, watching as Computer turned its sights back onto him. The two beings, one made of steel while another was made of flesh, just seemed to stare at each as if each was trying to contemplate the others' next move. Then, the air was suddenly filled with metallic arms, falling towards Zim like hail from the heavens. With a hiss, Zim jumped out to the way, ducking the metal hands that were swirling around like a hoard of flying locusts to catch him, but that mattered little to Zim. The third hail had just gone through and he had to stop this now.

There was a soft clicking noise from Zim's clawed toes as his feet pounded against the flooring. He'd decided, then and there, that Gir wasn't such a bad little minion after all. From the look of it, the small robot had suddenly made it a hobby to leave pots of gravy randomly in a room. It was from personal experience that Zim knew just what gravy could do to the mainframe of a computer. He would have laughed at the irony that, for once, Gir's destructive behavior would actually come in handy.

There was a soft clang as the pot was pulled from its resting spot and then a cry of breaking glass quickly followed after, said pot, was thrown into the glass screen of the main consul, circuitry sizzling as the brown stuff made contact. Most people would have considered this a victory, but the invader knew better. This was just a momentary delay; there were many other computer consuls throughout the base that had the programs needed to perform a hail; him and his paranoia that he'd miss a call from the Tallest! No matter. He'd just have to deal with the main brain of Computer. He'd disconnected the communication systems.

The pounding of his clawed feet filled the hallway, breath coming hard and fast as he struggled to respirate without his pak. Quickly, the invader came to a soft halt and his nails pulled roughly at a metal covering which led to the ventilation shaft. For once, he had actually found himself wanting to thank Dib; this was the human's main way into the lower base. Soon, the Irken was sliding down vents as if it were a super slide, occasionally hitting his head.

…

A scream of metal being slamming onto the floor filled Computer's brain chamber and Zim soon followed, falling on his bum. The small Irken threw his head around as he watched the lights turn from a soft blue into a threatening red; Computer has just noticed his entrance into the scene. With a grunt, Zim launched himself behind a consul before Computer could hit him with his laser beams. After all, he had set up that defense perimeter himself.

Yet, no beams came, instead a pair of arms reached down un-expectantly from the consul he was hiding behind and then the Invader was drug up into the air, hovering right above Computer's brain.

"There's no escape Zim, just accept this," came Computer's voice in an emotionless drawl. A soft sigh escaped Computer and then a screen popped down from the ceiling, the sound of a hail echoing over the expanse of the mostly empty room.

"No!" howled Zim as he struggled to free his arms as he looked at the screen. It would not end like this. He was Zim. He was meant for great things … it wasn't supposed to be this way.

A small whimper escaped Zim. He was going to die and he hadn't accomplished anything, nothing. He was a nobody, and he was going to die knowing that. The Irken closed his eyes as he listened to the second ring of the hail. He knew people murmured that he was a defect behind his back and that's why he tried so hard, so desperately to accomplish something, anything, to prove that he was worth his weight … yet, he'd never get the chance now. He'd die a defect.

He was going to be sick.

It was then, in the depths of self-pity, that Zim felt his stomach turn … and he barfed all over Computer's brain, short-circuiting it and ending the hail.

Zim was still for a moment as the base went dark since it no longer had a brain to keep the lights on, and he would have stayed still, just hanging there, if he didn't suddenly feel dizzy. The Irken tightened … Oh Irk. His pak! He'd been so pointed on keeping himself alive, he forgot he was dieing! Damn, how much time did he have left?

With a loud hiss, Zim managed to free himself. He had to get upstairs … and the elevator was out! A pained groan escaped the invader as his insides trembled and the next thing he knew, he had hurled again. The Irken stared at the silvery floor in surprise. Not because he had just upchucked, but because it wasn't food. It was blood.

With a squeal of horror, the Invader ran out of the room, barely able to keep his balance. This was not good. He had only had his pak off for about four minutes and his body had just shown the time of nine minutes. How could that be? Unless …

Zim wrapped a hand around his belly as he ran down the halls and towards the medical bay. It was because of that … thing! It had done this to him. God, the little beast was trying to kill him, he just knew it. With a gasp, Zim took a sharp corner and collapsed to the floor as he lost all feeling in his legs. Oh Irk, his body wasn't pumping blood to his legs! It was only a matter of time till it stopped providing blood to his brain.

"Then I'll crawl," Zim growled as he claws dug into the metal and he started dragging himself forward, "I haven't fought this hard just to die here and have Gir play tea time with my corpse!"

After a few moments of dragging his body forward, Zim stopped in front of the medical bays doors. With a groan, Zim sat himself up against the wall and slowly reached his hand upward in order to reach for the door button. It took a few fumbling seconds until his heavy arms were able to get the door open. Zim groan, his vision starting to go blurry.

Just a little bit longer, he prayed as he drew closer to the exam table, his nails making an awful sound as he struggled to get his arms to move. But he was almost there! He was going to make it! He could see the red blur of his pak. It was right above him. He … just … needed … to … get … a … little … closer –

And the world went dark, consuming all in its wake.

XXX

There was a silence on the Resisty ship and Tak couldn't help but be unnerved. She wasn't going to find that captured Irken! She had checked every locked door and still no sign of anyone … except for the fool, Zim. Maybe she should have beaten him for information. The female huffed and turned another corner, her fingers twitching. The ship's crew were all missing already so that meant that the ship was surely invaded by the Armada. Irk! She had to find that Irken … she had too.

The want-to-be-invader huffed. She had to find this being soon, because, technically, only invaders and other such officials were supposed to leave their posts to look for this missing Irken. She was not supposed to be here. A growl filled the halls. It wasn't her fault the control brains made here into a cleaning drone. She was an invader. INVADER!

She stomped a foot onto the metal tiles in a childish manner, an echo thrown down the hall.

"Hey! I heard something down there," came a voice from another hall, "come on."

A set of running feet filled the hall and Tak found herself ducting into the nearest room, cursing herself silently for her childish behavior. The female stood against the wall, holding her breath as she listened to two sets of feet run pass. Irk! It seems that her search was over. Oh well, at least she knew no one else had found the Irken yet, or they would have already stopped looking.

She sighed when the halls went silent and was about to abandon the room when a small beeping screen caught her sight. The female licked her lips, ignoring her gut instinct, and headed over to the bed. The bed looked slept in by the wrinkled patter in the sheets and there was a table of food over the bed. The invader-want-to-be tilted her head.

"Wait … that's Irken food," she whispered, poking at the food.

Her eyes suddenly widen with a realization; the kidnapped Irken had been in this very bed. She quickly looked under the bed, praying that the Resisty had forgotten the Irken and the poor thing had decided to hide. She sighed, nothing but dust.

Tak licked her teeth, careful not to cut her tongue. Maybe, there was some record of who the Irken was, or at least what he or she was sick with. The femme was about to start digging though the files in the corner, when she remembered the light that had caught her eye to start with. Slowly, she searched under the sheets, her fingers gracing something cold and electronic. Slowly, she pulled it out and stared at the vid screen as if she was a treasure hunter and just found her chest of gold.

The femme's eyes narrowed as she stared at her reflection in the dark glass of the vid screen. Her fingers hovered over the small red button near the bottom. Half of her didn't want to touch it in fear that she'd have nothing and the other half hoped it was the medical chart that had every scrap of information about it's past patient … including their name.

Slowly, as if the vid-screen was made entirely of glass, the Irken reached her hand forward and a soft light poured over the femme. Her eyes got wide and her antennae perked up. No, it couldn't be … could it? Yet, before the femme could properly congratulate herself, the doors to the med bay flew open and two shadows cast themselves into the room.

The two Irken foot soldiers stood there a moment, their eyes wide and the grips on their guns almost disappearing as they stared at Tak. The female Irken could only stare back in shock; this wasn't going to end well. With that thought in mind, the female brought out her spider legs ready to defend her clue. No way in Irk was she going to loose this little tid-bit after all the stupid Resisty she had to beat the crap out of.

Yet … for some unknown reason, the two guards just continued to stand there in slight surprise, until a communications device slid out of the red soldier's pak, the distinct sound of a hail filling the room. Then, before the female Irken could even react, the soldier spoke, "My Tallest. We seem to have found an unregistered Irken in the medical bay."

The two beings suddenly cringed and Tak could understand why, after all she could hear the Tallest's yells all the way over from her position. Yet, that didn't sooth her worries as the two soldiers pulled out their spider legs, readying themselves to jump forward.

"The Tallest have command that you be brought to the Massive. Surrender or come with force," hissed the red soldier as one of his spider legs moved forward in a threatening manner, his eyes becoming slits.

At first, Tak couldn't believe her antennae. What? No, she wasn't the missing Irken. Then again, she did "disappear" from her post. She swallowed, 'not good' and with that thought her spider legs were off in a frenzy toward where she had left her ship. Unfortunately for her, the Tallest didn't just send some Tom, Dick, and Harry in there take care of the search; they sent their elite guards.

A loud screech filled the air as Tak fell to the floor, her vid screen sliding a fair distance away as her arms were forced behind her back. She hissed in pain and shock for a moment. She hadn't even seen him grab one of her spider legs. Irk, this wasn't good.

"Let go of me you buffoons!" came an angry growl from the Irken as she thrashed around trying to get away, "I'm not the one you're after!"

The Irken tightened his grip on her wrists, forcing her to her feet as he ignored her rage filled rant. The femme hissed when it soon became apparent that they weren't going to listen to her; plus, those idiots were leaving her clue behind. Nobody messed with her and her rise towards the position of an Invader! So she used a trick she had seen once on earth … she slammed her had back into his face. The soldier squealed and pulled away, allowing Tak to land on her feet and before either guard could even call after her … she was gone, running down halls and clutching the vid-screen to his side.

Half of her still couldn't believe it. She should have known! She should have known!

The Irken laughed in her throat, sending a haunting echo down the darkened halls, which were dark because the engines that powered the ship had given up. Now, Tak was no elite soldier, but she had one advantaged over the soldiers wandering the corridors … experience. She had to wander from planet to planet in a barely functioning life pod after Zim had launched her into the deep, unremorseful void of space without even the simplest of supplies. She had to jump and scavenge from one inhospitable planet to the next … she also knew the dark. After all, after being alone with no one for company, one learns to befriend the dark.

She smirked at the thought as she snuck passed Irken after Irken even though they were all in a scrimmage to find her. Yet, all she had to do to remain unseen was craw on the ceiling. She'd admit that it was a good thing the Resisty had tall soldiers.

After a few minutes, it seemed that Tak's Spiderman act was pulling off. She had crawled across half of the ship and no one had even noticed her … that was skill. Now, the only thing left to do was get into her ship and get out of here … there was only one small problem with that.

Tak came to sliding halt and blinked once or twice at the huge hole where he ship use to be. "Wh-where's my ship!"

XXX

Dib pushed his hair out of his eyes as he walked down the street towards Zim's house, two slurpies in hand; he really needed to cut it … or he'd end up looking like his dad. The teenager cringed. Now that was a person he could have done without thinking about. His father had started to become … persistent, and would actually come home more than once a week to try to convince his son to the side of science, which was precisely the reason Dib was heading over towards Zim's to hang out with Computer and Gir. He'd rather put up with a mad machine over his own father.

The human hummed to himself as he drew nearer to Zim's base; he made a mental bet with himself with how long it would take Computer to throw him out today. Well, best to see if he really did have telekinesis like he suspected. With that thought in mind, the human opened the door and immediately froze, his shadow casting a haunting presence within the darkened room. With a swallow, Dib took a slow step forward and the first thing he noticed was the deathly silence … the television wasn't on. The second thing was that there wasn't the familiar silent humming, which seemed to live in the walls … why wasn't the electricity on?

"Computer? Gir?" his voice seemed to haunt the air … he should really check for ghosts with how creepy this place was when the lights were out, but that was for another time. Right now he had to find out what happened here. Had Zim come back and exhausted his generators with his newest experiment? Dib growled. Come on! The guy, if he was back, couldn't have been home more than eight hours and he was already planning to take over the world. Didn't Irken's have vacations or something?

The human sighed. Well, if this due to one of Zim's experiments, the place to start looking would be the lab. The human took one last swig of his slurpie and then transverse through the dark kitchen, grabbing a flashlight out of his trench coat as he went. Then, without a second thought, Dib opened the fridge and jumped into the port that led down to the labs.

After a ride down a tube which could put a water park slide to shame, Dib came to a harsh landing, falling on his butt and sending his flashlight rolling away. There he sat for a moment, watching his flashlight roll farther and farther away as he rubbed his bum. The human tensed slightly when his flashlight suddenly came to a halt, hitting something metal … and then turning off with a click. Dib was still for a moment as he listened to small footstep rustle about him, running around him in a large trembling circle.

Dib swallowed and tried to turn his head in sync with the little footsteps. He licked his lips, willing himself to speak, "Zim … is that you?"

The footsteps stopped for a moment, making Dib tense when he suddenly felt eyes against his back. Biting down the string of fear that was slowly crawling into his gut, the human looked over his shoulder. Nothing but darkness.

With a sigh, Dib Membrane slowly got up and brushed himself off. He had to be imagining things again, must have been, because if it were Zim he'd be gloating by this point. Dib took a few weary steps in the darkness, feeling with his foot for his flashlight. Only he froze when he felt the eyes staring on him once again. Slowly, his head rose and he stared down the end of the corridor … there, a pair of red eye's peered at him.

Dib blinked once before softly whispering, "Gir?"

The eyes stared at him for a moment more before the being suddenly turned down the hall, footstep echoing in the darkness.

Dib stood there a moment, contemplating what he should do. "Should I follow the freaky red eyes or not. It could be Gir or it could be a gremlin vampire that has come to drink my blood? … why am I taking to myself?"

The human shook his head. He really needed to stop talking to himself. With that thought in mind, Dib decided to follow. If worse came to worse, he'd just end up dead. Not that that was a bad thing. Personally, anything would be better than going home to an ashamed father.

So, Dib followed the soft red glow, his mind growing ever more enticed as the eyes led him down corridor after corridor. Finally, the set of eyes stopped and the soft hiss of an opening door filled echoed down the halls. Dib found himself running down the hall to make sure he caught the door before it closed, and he made it … in classic Indian Jones fashion. Only, when Dib slipped inside what appeared to be the medical bay, he wished he hadn't. A soft yelp escaped him. No, it couldn't be!

"Gross! Gir, ketchup on mashed potatoes is just wrong," complained the human as he stared at the food on a table in front of him. The human took one more look at the horrible concoction before he took a step forward. For some reason this room seemed to have emergency lights, but they were very dim.

"Gir? Gir! That's you isn't it?" called Dib as he took another step forward. The human's head suddenly turned the other way when he heard the pitter patter of feet once more, "Gir?"

The human took a step forward when he suddenly saw the small bot in question sitting on the table before him, legs dangling over the edge. The little being tilted its metal head as Dib drew nearer. Something was wrong here and Dib knew it. The little SIR unit was too quiet.

"Gir … what's wrong-gah!"

Dib didn't get to finish his question when he suddenly was sent sprawling towards the ground as he tripped on something on the floor. After some inane cursing, Dib sat up only to find himself revolted when he looked down at his feet. He swallowed and pulled his legs into his chest to get a little farther away from the thing. The thing in question was none other than Zim, who was on his back, tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth.

Slowly, almost unable to look away from the small nearly naked green form, Dib looked up at the table and the small red-eyed bot that was staring down at him, his usually emotional face unreadable.

"Gir," he whispered, "is Zim dead?"

XXX

Red's claw tapped impatiently on the armrest of his chair as he glared at the huge screen before them. It had been to long. It had been to long! Why hadn't those soldiers reported back yet!

"Pilot deck, where is my call back!" cried Red as sat up straight in his chair. If they lost the Irken now … well, he was going to be throwing someone out of an airlock.

The little pilots all stopped and looked at each other in a panic before a blue eyed Irken was elbowed in the gut, causing him to give a muffled cry … but the damage was done and Red was already looking at him, waiting for an answer. The pilot glared at the other pilot that had elbowed him and then rose to his feet, shaking.

"My-my Tallest, there is no call back from the elite on the Resisty ship … but you did miss a different hail."

Purple and Red looked at each other in a questioning manner, antennae raised. "And?"

"It was Zim," he added, trying not to look weak in front of his leaders, despite the fact that he felt like he was going to pass out.

A sigh and a moan of distress escaped the two leaders, their worries momentarily forgot as a more persistent one came to light. The two immediately started to rub their temples as if they had just been assaulted by raging head aches. This continued for an awkward ten minutes until Purple finally opened one of his eyes, "What did he want?"

The pilot tilted his head, looked at the screen for a moment before simply answering, "Nothing … he hung up before the hail could come through, twice."

Purple and Red stopped acting like their heads were about to explode and looked at each other quizzically until Red spoke, a grin pulling at his lips, "Great … if we're lucky he's dead. Now, while we wait for those moron elites' to return, someone bring me some nachos."

XXX

Paw07: Sorry about taking forever, but you know how the real world is. Not much to say about this chapter though.


	5. Blade for the Belly

Chapter 5: A Blade for the Belly

XXX

Dib Membrane's throat was sticky as he forced himself to swallow as he stared at his shaky hand for a moment. Why was he nervous? Why was he acting like such a chicken? He was one of the best science students in his class, and he was in no way sickened by the smell of formaldehyde. So why was he freaking out about dissecting a dead thing? Yah, per say, he did know the dead thing before it had died, but Zim was such a prick. After all the hell the invader had put Dib through, and the human race for that matter, the alien should have to repay them somehow. Why not with his body? Yes, he would repay humanity with _science_!

The human nearly slammed his head against the metallic table at that thought. He had almost tried to raise his finger to the sky like his father did when he'd say the word. He-he was turning into his father. The teenager bit his tongue as a small whimper of horror escaped his throat. It had been an issue he had been having a hard time with lately. His father had not been pushing hard to get even better grades in the sciences, start taking college classes, and come to the lab after school to practice the family trade. So his father, unable to lure his son to the lab, actually started coming _home_. Membrane was home, as in not once a month, but almost every other day for a few hours. At first, it was kind of … nice to have his father home, to have that familiar smell of chemicals and plastics in the house. There was also the fact that there was some real cooking to be had. To say the least, Gaz was actually 'happy' as in she actually started smiling and not in the weird 'I'm going to kill you way'.

Then the questions started. They were simple ones at first. How he was doing in class, were his classes satisfactory, did he start looking into colleges yet? Things normal dads would ask. Dib answer truthfully and gladly every single time before heading out to investigate his newest paranormal find. Then, with kind prodding, he started asking for Dib to help him down in their private lab at home; the teen was just glad to have his father's attention for the evening and gladly attended being that Zim was gone. Yet, the questions and actions soon revealed themselves to not just be some innocent curiosity of a father. The question then became 'friendly suggesting as in which colleges Dib should check out and what classes might be good to take next semester. Then, Membrane, with gentle prodding, told Dib that he needed a second opinion down in the lab almost every other night; allowing Dib could have an extended curfew to dismiss the teen of any suspicion. The teenager would be far too tired to go out after a few grueling hours of experiments. So, overall, Dib hadn't noticed his father's slow but effective work in re-sculpting his ideas.

Dib had become engrossed in science. His father had been playing him. The only reason he had noticed at all was when Gaz flopped down on the couch, staring at the science special her brother was watching.

"_Yah know," said Gaz, her eyes haunted by the television screen. "Those classes dad took are really working. You are no longer so annoying."_

_Dib had been silent for a moment, unsure of what she meant. Dad had been telling him almost everything, why would classes be caught by Gaz's ears and not his?_

"_What classes?" the boy finally asked in curiosity._

"_Psychology classes, dad is picking up a PHD. It seems he's been usin' them real well on you," said the girl with a grin, enjoying the look of surprise on her brother's face. "Dad wants you in the lab by the way, once you are done with your chemistry homework."_

It was easy to say Dib didn't go to the lab that night and soon found himself waiting at Zim's empty house after school. He didn't know why though. Maybe it really was for the good of Computer and Gir. Maybe he was really hiding from his father, unable to face him. Or maybe it had something to do with the paranormal nature that was Zim. If Zim returned he might be able to return to his old self. If not, he'd go kindly to his father's silent demand.

'_This was not the time for a mental breakdown_,' thought the boy as he shook his head, trying to ignore his personal issues. He had to concentrate on his current work. He had to be quick with this dissection, who knew how quickly rigamortis and/or decay would set in for this alien life form. Dib had a whole lab to himself, so why not?

"Okay," said Dib as his fingers shook, daring to touch the alien's form. He had touched the other hundreds of times in various different types of battles, but never had he done it without intention of harm. It was like he was touching a delicate treasure now. Strange how your opinion of someone changes when they die.

"O-okay, first, observe the outer layers of the specimen. His form is very much like a human, except the enlarged head, short stature, and antennae. The skin is a pale, almost puke green and very thick given my observations of how hard it is to kill him. The specimen has no signs of any hair follicles anywhere on his body, concluding his not a mammal and indeed alien."

Slowly, the human continued his examination of his specimen, going into tiny details such as the length of the toe nails. For a moment, Dib even considered pulling down the alien's pants, but a part of him felt grossed out about seeing alien 'parts', if Zim even had any. So, picking up his scalpel, he decided to get to one of his life dreams, dissecting an alien. Now, Dib had seen many a dissections and performed some on smaller organisms as well. Usually it was best to start with the abdomen, being that was where the majority of organs were located. Now, it was probably best to do this in the same nature as a human body – don't ask – and use a 'Y' cut. Now, if you could just still his hand enough to dig into the -

Suddenly, a hand latched onto Dib's wrist, and he dropped the scalpel that he was about to use to observe the inner abdomen. The human's eyes got wide as a sickening breath escaped the being on the table, clawed hands grasping at the edge of the table with dear life as purple eyes opened and beheld the shadows of the lab.

"Bloody hell," gasped Dib as he took another step forward in order to look at Zim's face and his slowly focusing eyes, "I thought you were dead, zombie-rising-from-the-dead thing going on much?"

Another gasping breath escaped the being on the table and with a grin, Dib jump up onto the table so that his legs dangled. The human sat there a moment more, taking off his glasses and breathing on them in order to properly clean them. He then took out a comb and started to pull back any loose strands, hands still shaking slightly. Only when the coughing, hacking, and wheezing stopped coming from the alien did Dib speak.

"Soooo," said the human with a grin as he watched Zim struggle to sit up, gasping his abdomen. "Good trip? Looks like you had a hell of a good time."

Zim wiped some spittle from his mouth, breathing still difficult, and glared at the human; it was not uncommon to have Dib beat the crap out of him, and then sit there and mock him. It was a slow process, but it seemed that the whole saving-the-world-thing became more a game to drive off boredom more than anything. And it seemed that Zim had been playing the same game.

"It went badly, Dib-worm," croaked the alien as he sat up, his feet dangling off the edge of the table as well. The next words were painful, but he felt that it was best to have a temporary peace with the worm baby until he got rid of this problem. "And thanks for saving me."

The wicked grin on Dib's face was replaced by one of confusion as he spoke, "What you talking about? I was this close to dissecting you."

Zim's eyes widened in surprise, "You didn't save me?"

"Tuh, no," said Dib as he jumped off the table, pulling out a metallic canister. "Tick-tac?"

Zim shook his head, still confused as hell as to why he wasn't dead. What was going on? Dib worm hadn't saved him and Computer was offline … so what had happened? Had he saved himself?

"You're loss, you need one," said the teenager as he placed the canister back in his pocket. "Anyway, I'll see you in school tomorrow and when do you want to have our epic battle this week? I'm kind of busy Wednesday, so Saturday good for you?"

Zim merely looked strangely at the human, before gurgling, "Sure."

"Great," said Dib as he started to suck on his candy. "See you then. I gotta to go … uh … ignore my father, and you might want to fix Computer. He usually throws me out by now. I feel a little depressed that he hasn't."

Zim sat there a few more minutes after Dib had left, he wanted to dwell on the strange behavior of the human, but he just marked it down as stupid human behavior. It had developed over the years of those two trying to kill each other. It was no longer a life and death game to Dib; it was like a strange and confusing game. It was as if Dib now used the conquering issue as a distraction from his life. It was an escape to him. Dib would never admit it; bit everyone in school called them frien-enemies. Dib was supposed to be his friend. Perhaps, Dib had saved him and just didn't want to admit it.

XXX

Dib stared dumbly at the board in front of him, the formulas taking the backseat of his wandering mind. Usually, when he was in Mr. Kulman's class it was like a new door was opened to him every day, like there were still wonders left in the world, still mysteries to be discovered. Yet, today he found no want or need to peak around one of those corners today … his mind kept wandering back to old wonders of older doors, like what had happened in Zim's lad the other day.

Something had just been … wrong. Not the whole rising from the dead thing, Zim was really good at that, but something was different about his old enemy. It was like he had a glow around him, but he still seemed afraid of it … afraid of himself. Then there was the fact that his abdomen was stiff when Dib had been examining his body; in humans that generally meant death … what did it mean in an Irken?

With a small grin, Dib looked at the board and one the greatest known steps to an experiment: Observation.

Now where had be put those magnifying goggles of his. It seemed he was going to practice one of his favorite past times, spying on Zim.

XXX

It was not a feeling Zim had felt often and that's why it frightened him, because only bad things followed when he had this feeling. It was fear. He had been afraid of Sizz-Lorr and only pain and embarrassment followed. Now, he was afraid of this thing in his gut, and now, only bad things would follow. He had been in such a panic that he hadn't been thinking the what-ifs; he had been depending on Computer to fix his problem like so many times before. It had been fairly obvious, after trying to restart Computer at least four times, that the Carrier Program could not be overrun, deleted, or dismissed. He was without a base A.I. or any means to get rid of this thing inside him.

He was dead as long as it was alive.

It was an absolute necessity to get rid of this problem. He needed glory, he needed respect, and he needed victory. This little beast inside of him was taking it all in one false swoop. Death was his. Failure was his. This thing in his gut was his.

The alien whimpered and continued to hug his knees as he sat on the metal operation table. What was he to do? He would not give up on his glory! He couldn't. A shivering breath escaped the being, his head suddenly snapping up when he noticed that there was a pair of red eyes staring up at him.

Gir.

The little machine had been acting odd since he had returned. Yes, he still had his 'crazy' episodes without fault, but he seemed to be going into his attack mode without notice. Yet, despite being in that mode, he didn't do a thing except watch him. Zim didn't get it; the robot probably thought he had a chicken for a head. Who knows, but it was creeping him out.

"Leave, Gir," snapped the Invader, a sad smile spreading on his face as the little mech jumped in surprise and ran out of the room in his usual twitchy manner. Of course, he knocked down a few things in his retreat.

Zim wrinkled his nose at the mess. Despite himself, if he was going to die here, he wasn't going to leave this place a mess. He quickly jumped down off the table, his feet making a slapping noise as he drew nearer to the tools that the SIR unit had knocked to the floor. With a lazy pace, the alien slowly started to pick up tools without really thinking about it until he finally got to one of the last tools, one that had fallen into the shadows. His eyes widened the other tools he had picked up falling to the earth as he looked at the large curved blade in his hand. It was like one of those hunter blades to gut those moose creatures like the human manual had told him of.

It could cut through hide … and under bellies.

Dib lay on his belly, missing his shorter days slightly as he stared out through the vent's slots. The alien hadn't even noticed it when he tripped in the vents so whatever Zim had been thinking about for the last few minutes seriously had him spooked. What could spook Zim though? The little alien was always testing the bounds he had been laid to, but here he was now, hiding in the basement like a scared little rat. No, a rat was braver than that.

Yet, perhaps Zim was a little braver than Dib had guessed. The 'rat' had moved from his barren nest on the table to a mess Gir had made. Now, he had picked something up, dropping the other items and was staring at it with a little too much attention … like he was fascinated. Dib clicked the button on the side of his goggles, trying to get a better look at whatever the being was looking at. Sadly, before he could focus, Zim was wading back over to his table.

Once back on the table, the invader sat there, for a moment looking at whatever he had picked up. Slowly, Dib crawled a little farther into the vents, his curiosity crawling to the point of desperation. What had Zim been holding? Was it a new world conquering tool? Was it another weapon made to target his head … what was –

The human couldn't help but drag in a surprised gasp as he watched Zim slowly drag a blade down to the flesh of his belly. It wasn't even against the skin a second before Zim started to cut into himself, green blood oozing forth as if a dam had just been broken. For a moment, the human watched in awe if nothing more, unable to think beyond the image before him. That is until he heard the pained gasping come from Zim, his hand shaking and struggling to continue forth in his self mutilation.

Okay, Zim wasn't doing this because he wanted too. In fact, if it was an operation or something, where was Computer? In fact, the whole house seemed to be off. The human drew back in surprise. Was Zim trying to kill himself? For a moment, that thought bounced around in the boy's head. Yet, strangely enough the boy didn't move from his hiding spot. Did he want Zim dead? The only thing holding him to the world of the paranormal right now was the green little freak. If he was gone would he be normal? Would he make his father proud?

The boy bit his lip as his mind continued to wander. Well, a part of him did and always would wand the alien dead until he gave up on his world conquest, but his curiosity was much bigger at the moment than ideals of honor. Dib wanted to know what the hell was going on and to do that he had to make sure his enemy didn't gut himself. That was his job.

Zim nearly jumped out of his skin as crashing sound of metal echoed over the medical lab. The alien sat there, blade pulled from his belly and ready to stab any perpetrator when a spiky head rose from the ground, a hand clutching it. Slowly, Dib turned and rubbed his head, eyes on the being before him. There was an overwhelming amount of silence as if time and forgotten the area in its hurry.

Then, after dusting himself off, Dib asked, "Are you a masochist?"

"No," said Zim, that awkward atmosphere starting to form as he resisted the urge to gab at his gut and stop the bleeding, "not really."

"Then why the hell are you cutting yourself?" asked the boy in true curiosity; there had been that time he had tried to question those 'Tallest' people, but other than that Dib didn't know much of Zim's culture. Then, as if he had just been punched in the gut, a hypothesis hit him.

"You are trying to reproduce, aren't you? Like a plant or fungi; you are cutting off a piece of your flesh to start a new being. I'd hate to sound like my father, but that's just fascinating," said Dib as he stared at the bloody blade in awe, part of him wondering why Zim was starting to look afraid.

Zim literally dropped the knife as he stared at the human in shock. He didn't know what to say or how to even react. The only thing he could think to do was yell.

"Lies! You lie Human, Lie!"

Dib slowly raised a brow, his goggles hiding most of his confusion from the alien until he was able to whisper, "Jeeze, it was just a theory any-"

"Disgusting Dib-worm, you lie, LIE!" cried Zim as he jumped to the floor, his paranoia running so high that he didn't even noticed the splash of blood that hit his feet, the floor slowly being dyed a new color.

Dib crossed his hands over his chest and drew an irritated stance. This was going to one of those 'kind' of fights, wasn't it? Personally, Dib would have rather preferred physical combat over the alien's sad excuse at banter, at least with physical contact you knew that you'd get somewhere with the disagreement.

"Lie? It was a hypothesis. Then what are you –"

"Stop you lies, Dib-worm! Zim is not heavy with disgusting parasitic fetus-eses," yelled the alien, feeling a light-head-ness start to overcome him.

"Geeze, melt down much," grumbled Dib, stopping his yelling so that the alien could have his rambling time, yet nothing came. His opponent was silent.

Dib stopped looking at the broken communication's council that had captured his attention and stared back at his opponent, thinking that the alien was up to something. Yet, to his surprise, his opponent was merely standing there, looking at his feet. Slowly, Dib made his way forward, asking curiously, "What … find a germ?"

The human almost stalled after that, Zim always had a meltdown about the meat incident. Something else was going on … and that something else probably had something to do with the puddle of green blood pooling on the floor in a quickly growing collection. For a moment, Dib merely stared in a combination of horror and surprise at the wound that had ripped open and the blood polling from it. Zim was merely staring at the hole he had made in his gut, as if proud and revolted at the same time.

"I-I think I cut to deep," said the invader in a slur, his eyes turning to his enemy in a begging manner.

"Yah … I think you might have. So, if you die you do know I'm going to use your body for science, right?" added Dib as he looked the other in the eye, expecting his enemy to get all flustered and snap out of this daze that was growing in his eyes.

"A-anything's better than g-going back to S-sizz-Lorr," whimpered the small alien before he fell over into his puddle of blood, his cloths suddenly all turning green as they tasted the blood of their owner.

The human stood over the collapsed being for a moment, rubbing his chin as if debating himself. Then, in almost a mocking manner put both of his hands out as if weighing his options.

"Do I take him home to the lab and sew him up or dissect him here. Lab … here. Hmm?" ask the boy to himself, unable to get Zim's strange reaction out of his mind. Finally, as if in defeat, the human knelt down and gathered the smaller being in his arms. "Damn me and my curiosity! It would be easier to leave you bleed."

Yet, as Dib hurried up the stairs, a part of him shivered in fear. Did he want Zim dead? Did he want to be normal?

XXX

Paw07: Short chapter, but I wanted to get an update out. Also, I know a lot of you are probably confused by Dib's behavior, but you got to remember, from the series they had 'strange' interactions all the time, so I'm playing into part with a few added years of a 'frien-enemie' relationship.


	6. Of Babies and New Beginings

Chapter 6: Of Babies and Beginnings

…

Being normal was overrated…

Yet, he was sure this was over the top. Being around Gir was on a whole new level itself… but being around not only a functioning Gir but a truly volatile Gir was a whole new level of weird. Or maybe it was just that he had a whole new angle to the world.

But the blood was sure running to his head pretty fast being hung upside down from the ceiling, ankles bound by the multitude of tubing, so this all might be madness.

"Umm," said Dib as he hung there from his feet, staring at the little robot who was barely took the time to look up from his makeshift surgery, blood dripping from the multitude of medical tools that were spicing and sew and stitching. He had never known the little bot had medical programs… then again, Zim probably had never trusted the little robot with his care.

He would have either… but he saw a whole new side of the little robot… it was like he was stuck in red mode, not even a twitch of insanity.

"Shut your meat hole, flesh bag," growled the mech in a soft voice so unlike the robot.

It was kind of creepy.

"Yeah… um, sure… after you tell me what the bigfoot is going on! Is he committing suicide or budding or trying to remove a kidney. A paranormal investigator has to know," he chirped, glad his hands were free. He'd get out of this easily, but he had to make sure the little machine wasn't watching him or he might just get shot.

The small machine stalled, a pained look in his optics as it shivered back to cyan for a moment, his voice strangely melancholy, "Master doesn't want… smeetling…" the robot sniffled, "and smeetling births rare… programming override… just protect smeetling and barer."

The SIR's eyes went red again and he growled, "At all costs! I will protect Zim again and again!"

Dib's eyes were wide, his glasses slowly slipping off towards the floor though he quickly stalled them from falling in his shock. No, no… no way! Zim was knocked up and though he'd like to know how the Irken's species reproduces instead then, he couldn't help but stare in amazement. It was no secret, having caught a few hails here or there, that Zim's Tallest didn't think much of the Invader. In fact, sometimes Dib wondering if sending the alien here had been little more than a ruse to get rid of the unbalanced idiot. It was something he didn't like to think about because it meant he was incidentally a part of that plot, tricking Zim as well.

Not that he worried about Zim invading much these days and given his condition at the moment, it was probably something he wouldn't really have to worry about at all. Not that Zim was happy about the situation. Maybe it was a taboo in his species, like a mother kind of thing, but worst of all… had he been hitting a girl for the last few years?

Well, Zim was trying to destroy the world and all but still… it was unnerving, especially now that Zim was pregnant.

Would there be a swarm of little Zims or what? Unlikely, smeet sounded singular but he wasn't one to presume.

Glad that he had an actual sane Gir, if a little dangerous, he probed again, "So… is it one smeet or a horde? Does he implant it into another creature; is it an egg, or what?"

Gir growled… growled… at him, before adding, "Why should I tell you, meat worm?"

Shrugging for a moment, he added, "Because I'm the closest thing that Zim has a friend … ugh, fren-emy. I'll help if it doesn't lead to the destruction of the planet. I'd rather have him pregnant and incapacitated than capable any day."

The mech glared for a moment, before added in an almost Gir-voice, "Do you promise all your bacons on it?"

Dib stared for a moment and then shrugged. He had been bored as hell lately and he had no plans of putting up with his father. It made him sick to think of that situation. Perhaps having some drama with Zim would put his mind at easy when it came to family issues and he'd really like to know a little more about Irken biology, he hadn't even known they could breed given the 'metal arm' talk from the Invader from time to time, "Sure… what else do I have to do and what happened to Computer by the way. Even if I was hanging upside down, he would have thrown me out by now."

Gir seemed shy for a moment, his attack mode and his crazy mode both seeming to fall to reveal a sorrowful side, "He-he tried to expose master. Irken pregnancies… are not a gooood thing Gir thinks."

Well… that was unexpected.

…

It was warm here … wherever here was. It was kind and soft and … sweet. He was safe here. A soft smile captured the half-sleeping Irken's lips as he snuggled a little deeper into the softness around him. He had never felt anything so wonderful. It was like he was being hugged and heated at the same time. The only thing he could think of in comparison was the fabric of human cloths or one of these blankets they seemed to cuddle with during their sleeping cycle. Why would he be feeling this though? He had no human blankees.

… Then why was he so positive that he was covered in them. Slowly, Zim be opened his eyes and saw that yes, indeed, he was in sheets and in a room be did not recognize. He sat up, taking in a panicked breath, his hand immediately going to his gut. He felt the bandage immediately. His antennae fell against his head a for a moment as he tried to recall what the gleam of a blade meant and why he had been so afraid… but his mind was so tired, his insides so warm that he couldn't bring himself to care.

He looked at the room for a moment more, noting he wasn't captured since there appeared to be no locks, and he doubted capturers would allow Gir to sleep on the edge of his bed like a dog.

W-was that blood on his fingers?

"Here I was hoping you'd die, Zim, so I could dissect your body but it seems I'd have no such luck. Gir's good with his hands its seems."

The Irken automatically hissed and turned towards the origin of the voice, his mind whirling in surprise as his antennae fell against his head, "Dib… where… how… why…umm?"

The human put up a hand, smirking as he leaned back in the chair located by the empty desk, stating, "I'll answer all those particular questions in no particular order. Well, Gir did most of the medical work so that's why you are not now being placed in varying jars for future generations. You are currently located in my house's guest room. What? And I promised Gir because he would probably leave me hanging in your dead house if I didn't and I was far too fascinated not to ask… which leads to me asking you a question."

There was a moment of silence, Zim, who at first had been ready to jump on the bed as his usual angry self, had slunk under the sheets, wincing. He knew what question was coming.

"Why are Irken pregnancies a bad thing because a home abortion is a desperate move," added Dib as he reclined in his chair, rolling a pencil that was on the desk near a notebook. The dust was slightly evident… this room use to be used by his mother since his dad had always gotten back at odd hours and he didn't want to wake her. He knew in the closet there was a box of her things… dad wouldn't even go into the room though it wasn't his mother's room anymore. So it became the guest room.

The Irken stared at his clawed fingers for a moment, balling his hands into fists so he wouldn't have to stare at his dried blood under neither his finger nails. His eye lids became half mast as he stated, "Why does it matter… why do you care? Aren't you supposed to be my enemy?"

Dib frowned and leaned forward in the chair, sighing as a painful truth rose in his throat, "You and I stopped being real enemies a long time ago… are war is stuck in a stalemate, a chess board gathering dust. You stopped really trying long ago and we both know it."

A dry chuckle escaped the bittering alien, "How poetic, earth worm… Zim does not care… nor does he disagree," he added somberly.

The alien refused to look at the human for the longest time before, his voice almost echoed above a whisper, "Earth children taught me about cruel jokes. They were monsters and cold and scarring. I never thought you people dangerous until I looked at it in a physiological level. You are cruel to your young."

Dib didn't disagree, but added, "And are you not as well… You just tried to abort it. That sounds rather human to me."

The invader twitched at that a refused to look at the other, he continued on his tangent as if not interrupted though, "But it taught Zim something… that the Tallest were joking Zim. Zim's whole mission was a joke."

Sitting there, Zim expected Dib to at least have a surprised expression, but the Dib has found a soda somewhere and clicked it open, disturbing the silence as he chugged half of it and stated, "And? I knew that for a while Zim, I thought you did to because you kind of … stopped really trying. What does that have to do with the abortion question?"

Zim cheeks turned flush, his teeth bared. He had just opened his mouth to his ultimate shame, revealed how pathetic he was, and the Dib-beast still wanted to know about the disgusting smeet.

Jumping to his feet, his pak pump painkillers into him before he could feel more than a dull throb, the Irken threw his pillow and yelled at the human, "Trying to survive, meat-skink! The Tallest stated that carrying Irkens are disgusting! There's no way to control genetic coding! It's a defect. LIKE ME! They already want Zim dead!"

Dib's eyes were wide, his drink spilled all the way down his shirt, his mouth slightly ajarred.

Voice softer, almost ashamed, he continued, "… Zim does not want to die. They want Zim dead if they find out. I can't let them find out. I-I'z need to go."

So shocked at the situation and what it all truly meant, it took a moment for the comprehension to set in as Dib jumped to his feet, calling after the hurting Irken, "Zim! Stop! It's raining outside."

…

It had taken a Dib a while. He had ran around the block expecting the green alien to be balled up and whimpering in a puddle or trying to use some poor bastard's body as a makeshift umbrella like he had to Gaz that one time. That day had been hilarious.

But there was nothing funny about right now. There was nothing funny about what was going on with Zim.

He didn't know what day he stopped hating Zim but he decided that today he would let it show. He would help him, if only because there was no one else to do so. There was nothing worse than being alone when you were surrounded by people and that was something that Dib knew far too well.

It took him a good hour; umbrella making plopping sounds as it rolled the rain drops away though his hair spike was still limp from the moisture in the air. Dib almost felt to heart sick to stop and talk to the other when he finally found him. The alien was on a bus bench, hiding from the rain that was inches away, staring out at the wet cement and concrete, looking entirely defeated.

His antennae were even drooping… he didn't even have a disguises on. Not that Dib was worried. No one was around.

Closing his umbrella, stepping into the enclosure, Dib sat down and just sat there, looking ahead. A there he sat for a few moments before he whispered, "It's raining you know."

Not even turning his head, looking pathetic, the alien whispered, his orbs looking dead, "Zim knows…"

Nodding, wishing he had picked up smoking or something to kill the stillness, Dib instead took some gum out of his pocket and started chewing. The two both sat there watching the rain pound into the pavement, changing from heavy to drizzle a few times until Dib decided the uncomfortable silence had reined over them long enough and threw his arms over the back of the bench, lazily, stating, "You know the nice thing about the rain?"

"It blisters and leaves horrible boils that if left untreated may cause death?" murmured the alien, pulling his knees up on to the bench, placing his chin on his knees but still unwilling to look at Dib.

Snorting, as if it had been an attempt at humor, Dib stated,"…No, but as the humans would say, it washes everything away. Old hurts, old scars, and failures… it also has a way of washing away foot prints. It's a time of new beginnings."

And then Dib allowed the message to hang there, waiting patiently as if they had all the time in the world. The rest of the universe be damned as the two of them rested in this silence, accepting hard truths and failures.

Sighing, as if realizing the other wasn't going to go away, Zim whispered, "Just get to the point Dib-stink. Iz never did like human poetry."

Shrugging his shoulders, not insulted in the least, he turned to Zim and said in the most supporting voice he could muster, "I don't know exactly what all happened but I can tell you this much… that thing in your belly is killing Invader Zim. He cannot exist with it… nor does it seem he can get rid of it."

Eyes becoming a glare, Zim turned to his longtime rival and bore his teeth, embittered as he almost barked, "So you're saying Zim's doomed… I already knew that."

Shaking his head, sighing, he met Zim's gaze and murmured, "It's an acronym, Zim… Anyway, what I mean is… when was the last time you really wanted to conquer earth?"

His glare becoming angry, clawed fingers shifting for a moment, he bit back, "Get to the point, Dib-stink."

"How long have we been friends?" said Dib suddenly, accepting that he hadn't hated Zim in a long time and he was sure the alien felt the same way. When was the last time the two of them had really tried to kill each other? Not in a long time. Though an exact date couldn't be pinpointed, so he doubted that an exact date could be offered for their kinship beginning either.

Probably as children, the whole rivalry nothing but a game that neither had noticed they had been playing.

It broke his heart a little. Not knowing he had had such a good friend until today, when that friend needed him most.

"I know not what you mean," said Zim, losing some of his rage, antennae rising a little in curiosity despite his emotional exhaustion.

"What's your favorite snack food?" said Dib, trying to prove his point.

"Get to the point!" finally bit out the Irken, coming out of his ball.

Leaning back against the bench, throwing his head back as if thinking, Dib was silent for a moment before he stated, "The whole knocked up thing sucks but think of it this way: a new life is a new beginning… Who says it can't be your new beginning as well? So it's the death of Invader Zim… but it could be the beginning of just Zim."

Gooey red eyes full of surprise, the alien asked in almost a confused tone, "Just Zim?"

"Just Zim," reassured the human with a sad smile.

Silent for a moment before he turned his head slightly, Zim asked, "And just Zim… could he be friends with Dib … but still try to kind of kill him a little bit once in a while?"

"A little bit?" snorted Dib, knowing he had won.

"Yes, there is no point of this Zim and Dib being friends if there is no battling," added Zim, a smile slowly forming on his lips, no longer looking so pathetic.

Laughing heartily, as if it had been the funniest thing he had ever heard, Dib shrugged his shoulders and stated, "Why not, I suppose. Most friends try to kill each other from time to time."

Putting out a hand, as if to shake hands, Dib asked, "Friends then?"

Looking tired again, but no longer so tired, a clawed hand raised to shake that limb, grip loose and a little frightened of such a soft touch from someone that generally punched him in the face, "Yes, friends… but not stalker kind. Helping kind, yes?"

Nodding, recalling Zim's first attempt at a friend in grade school, Dib suddenly tightened his grip on that hand and stood up, dragging the shorter being with him. Then, not skipping a beat, he popped open the umbrella and stated, "Come on Wicked Witch of the West. Let's get you out of here before you melt. I might be able to find something even digestible for you at home."

Still smiling softly, the two boys walked home under that opened umbrella, old rivalries now remembered more as games then struggles for conquest. Battles for Earth now felt like intricate games of two lonely boys and the beginnings of an odd but beautiful friendship.

Looking down at Zim, Dib added softly, "Everything is going to be okay, Zim. Just you wait and see. It will be okay in the end."

Unable to meet the optimistic boy's gaze, the alien shivered and stated, "We will see."

XXX

Paw07: Umm… It's been a ridiculous amount of time and part of me wants to paste a complete badge on this, leaving it as a hanging end. There are a few things that I really wanted in this story though. So, for now I will leave it as in progress and try to finish it in as few chapters as possible. Talk later … if anyone still reads this. XD


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